. But now I saw it all and beyond that I wanted it.
His fingers skimmed beneath my sweater, ghosting along my skin like he was afraid if he truly touched me I’d run screaming.
“Cade?” I gasped, pulling away from his lips.
His hand stilled and he started to pull away, but I tightened my hold on him. “If you don’t really touch me I’m going to lose my mind, and don’t you dare stop kiss—” He silenced my following words by doing exactly what I wanted him to do.
With every brush of his lips to mine I felt as if the shackles binding me to my past began to weaken and crumble.
His fingers pressed more firmly against the skin of my stomach, easing my shirt up slowly. I finally grabbed the garment and ripped it off. I knew he didn’t expect me to go that far, not tonight, but I needed to feel him against me.
Once my shirt was gone his lips ghosted down my neck, lingering against the spot where my pulse raced.
My body arched against his and a breathy sigh passed between my lips.
“I want you so bad,” he confessed. “But I want all of you, before we go that far.”
I closed my eyes, knowing what he meant. He wanted Rachael. The real me. The whole me. Not this shell that was grasping onto life with weak fingers.
I knew I had to change, not for him, but for me. I needed to take ahold of my life and move on. I had to get better before I lived my whole life being miserable, because let’s face it, that would be no life at all.
I felt like a baby fawn, trembling on new legs—terrified at what may lie ahead of me, but knowing that I had to do it.
I wanted to be able to tell Cade that he did have all of me, but we would both know that was a lie.
I had to hope that by the time I was ready to give him everything he hadn’t given up on me.
“Stop thinking, just feel,” Cade growled, nipping my chin.
Suddenly, he pulled away, grasping me by the waist so I went with him. I ended up straddling him with my arms around his neck so we were face to face.
He stared at me for a moment. I noticed that his lips were slightly swollen from our kisses.
His fingers tangled in the curls of my hair. “I wasn’t looking for anyone to care about like this, but now that I have you…I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.”
And then his lips were on mine again and the night, the room, everything, ceased to exist.
twenty-one
I woke up, stretching my arms above my head—and promptly smacked Cade in the face.
“Oh, shit.” I rolled out of his bed and onto the floor, probably bruising my ass in the process.
I’d fallen asleep in his bed. Lovely.
Cade groaned and rolled over. He lazily peeked his eyes open to spy me on the floor. “Why the fuck are you down there? That doesn’t look the least bit comfortable.”
“I fell,” I defended.
He cracked a smile. “That’s funny.”
It kind of was, but then the enormity of the situation hit me. “Cade,” I groaned, “we fell asleep.”
“I’m aware of that.” He rubbed his eyes sleepily and stifled a yawn. “Best night of sleep I’ve ever had…and it doesn’t have to end. Get back in bed, Sunshine.”
“What will Thea think?” I hissed, looking down and realizing that I was only clothed in a bra and panties. Where the hell were my pants?
Cade noticed what I was looking for and chuckled. Propping his head on his hand, he said, “You got hot in the night and kicked them off.”