“I think you hate being cooped up inside,” I joked, watching where I stepped so I didn’t trip.
“That would be an accurate statement,” he looked over his shoulder at me, grinning. “I blame it on the fact that my dad kept me outside playing football all the time and…” He paused, his face twisting with pain. He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “Before Gabe died we were an active family. You know, skiing, snowboarding, swimming, always outside and on the go.”
I kept quiet not sure what to say. Cade didn’t talk about his brother a lot, and I knew it was a testy subject, so the last thing I wanted to do was say something to upset him. I hated seeing him hurt, though, and I wondered if he often felt the same way when he looked at me.
I spread the blanket down on the ground, set my bag beside it, and lay down staring up at the sky.
Cade joined me, lacing our hands together.
He turned his head towards me and I looked over at him. “When I think about Gabe, and the years after that, and all the shit I went through, it makes me so grateful to have found peace—to be able to enjoy this moment, right here, with you.” Bringing my hand up to his chest he continued, “I no longer feel scared to defy my dad. I know I’m ready to do my own thing, be my own person, consequences be damned.”
“What are you saying?” I whispered.
“I’m saying that when I graduate I’m going into architecture. I won’t pursue football. I want it to remain a hobby that I love, but not something I’m forced to do.” He reached out, grabbing a piece of hair that had blown across my face, and tucked it behind my ear.
“It makes me happy that you’re doing what you want,” I admitted. True, it was scary that Cade was graduating in the spring and I didn’t know where things would go, but life didn’t come with a map for a reason. You weren’t meant to know where your future would go, but you were supposed to enjoy the journey—even when you had to climb mountains.
“It does?” He questioned, seeming almost unsure.
I nodded. “I will always want you to do what makes you happy, Cade. I’ll support any decision you make because I love you, and when you love someone you don’t hold them back from their dreams, whatever they might be.”
Before I could take a second to breathe he crashed his lips to mine.
His kiss was consuming, his touch electrifying.
Despite the chilly air, I felt warm all over as my body flooded with heat.
Cade pulled away, his breath fanning across my cheek. His stare was intense and I found myself drowning in his blue eyes.
Cracking a smile, he said, “Let’s go exploring.”
I couldn’t dim my smile. “Sounds good.”
I hopped up, but Cade was a little slower. His knee was still healing and a part of me worried that he might always have problems from the injury. But Cade was confident that it only needed more time.
I left the blanket where it was, but grabbed my camera bag. I pulled my camera out, following Cade into the brush. He was ahead of me, with the football clasped in his hand. I couldn’t help taking a picture of him.
He looked over his shoulder and smiled, so I took another.
“You’re lucky I’m not shy,” he warned with a laugh, “because you’re kind of intimidating with that thing.”
I lowered the camera, sticking my tongue out at him.
“I’m serious,” he chuckled, reaching out to shove some of the tall dead grass out of his way. “You’re kind of a bad ass.” He stopped and turned around, waving his hand at me.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m definitely not a bad ass,” I shook my head.
He grinned crookedly and stepped forward, cupping my cheek. “You are…and you’re also my Rae of Sunshine.”
“Cade,” I laughed, “I thought you forgot that shitty nickname.”
“Never,” he gasped, faking that he was offended. “It’s an awesome nickname and I will use it as often as I can for th
e rest of your life, so get used to it.”
“Oh, really? For the rest of my life?”
“Yeah,” he smiled, leaning his forehead against mine. “Did you think you were going to get rid of me or something? I want you, always, Rae. I mean that.”