The Other Side of Tomorrow

The last thing I can feel is joy, not with knowing what I have to tell him. I never should’ve let it drag on this far. It was selfish of me, but … it’s felt so good being with him, and I wanted to hold on to that for as long as I could. For years all I’ve had is my illness, dialysis, and doctor’s appointments. For once, I wanted something that was just for me and Jasper was that for me.

I lay my head against Jasper’s chest as we sway. His heart thumps steadily beneath my ear and tears threaten to fall becaus

e by the end of tonight that heart will be broken.

Mine too.

“You’re shaking,” he comments. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can take you home?” I look up at him shaking my head. He cups my cheeks. “Willa? Why—”

“Everyone, we have an announcement to make,” Jasper’s mom says from the top of the patio, her husband beside her. I didn’t even hear her come outside I’d been so lost in my thoughts.

Jasper quiets, looking at his parents and I can tell from his inquisitive look he doesn’t know what this is about.

Once she has everyone’s attention she continues.

“John and I were able to get information on some of T.J.’s organ recipients. Some people opt to be able to be contacted by the donor’s family if they wish, and we’ve been talking about it for a few months, and we’ve decided we want to meet anyone who’d be interested in meeting us.”

The blood in my veins runs cold.

No, no, no, noooo. This is not happening. This can’t be happening. Why today of all days? I think I’m going to faint. Or throw up. Oh, God, don’t throw up.

I remember so many years ago checking a box saying I’d be agreeable to being contacted by my donor’s family. It’s not something every hospital offers, because let’s face it this is an emotional process, but I liked having the option if they wanted to reach out to me they could. I’d honestly forgotten about it, having filled out that paperwork years ago.

The people around us murmur and cheer, seemingly pleased by this news.

Against me, Jasper’s hand flexes at my back. I don’t dare look at him.

“We found out one of the recipients was a girl T.J.’s age from right here in Santa Monica.”

“What organ?” Jasper asks, his hand falling from my waist and his voice tight with tension.

“I’m not sure—kidney, I think.”

Why is this happening to me? Why let him find out like this? This isn’t fair!

Jasper glares down at me. “Did you know?” he spits out, hurt and anger leaching into his words. His eyes scream his hurt at me and I hate that I’m the cause. All these months I’d been erasing that look from them and now it’s back all because of me.

“Did she know what, sweetie?” his mom asks, clueless, not knowing I have a transplant.

“Did you know?” he asks me again, his voice cracking. “Did you know you had my brother’s kidney?”

My lower lip trembles. “I didn’t know,” I answer honestly. “But I … I saw an article in the newspaper after he died and I … I assumed.”

“This is unbelievable.” He runs his fingers roughly over the short strands of his hair. “That’s why you came here that day? When you ran away?”

I nod, sniffling. “I wanted to meet his family but then you were here and I recognized you from that day Perry ran you over and I … I panicked.”

“How could you?”

“I’m sorry,” I sob. “I’m so sorry, but I wasn’t certain and then we ran into each other again and started hanging out and … I have so much fun with you and I love spending time with you and I got selfish. I didn’t want to lose you.”

His jaw ticks. “You should’ve told me, because maybe you wouldn’t be losing me now.” He pushes past me and bursts into his house.

My tears threaten to choke me. Everyone looks at me, completely shell shocked.

I take off running for the house and burst inside.

“Jasper!” I scream, running toward the stairs.