“Good. I’ll see you later.” He kissed my lips quickly then turned around and walked out.
I walked out towards the hive as he walked towards the elevator to go down to his floor and placed my bag on the desk.
“Did you break up?” she asked sitting up and handing me a cake pop.
“I don’t know.” I frowned as I took it and sat down slowly.
She came around and leaned on my desk. “What do you mean you don’t know? One usually know these things.”
“Apparently not. Should I be happy or sad?” I asked taking a bite, and the moment I did I wanted the whole velvet cake. “This is good and I should be happy, right?”
“Rule of thumb, if you have to ask whether or not you’re happy, you’re not.” She sat up and then sighed dramatically. “But what do I know? I’m just a twenty-eight-year-old single woman in New York.”
“Successful.” I added with a smile. “You are a successful, beautiful, single woman in New York.”
“Right?” She grinned. “Look at this skin? Not a blemish anywhere. And not a single student debt is left for me to pay off…I even like my apartment.”
“We are not worthy.” I bowed to her and she laughed.
“I like you, Noëlle.”
Grinning I put my hand over my chest. “Aww, thank you but my love life is already complicated—”
“Shut up.” She giggled, shaking her head as she looked on her laptop screen and I did the same though I couldn’t really focus.
For some reason I felt like I was missing something. Like there was this big blind spot in myself and the more I tried to figure it out the blinder I became. When I looked around, everyone at Penohxi Publishing House seemed to have their head on straight. Everyone was talented, the best of the best. English and Humanities majors from Ivy League schools, with larger-than-life dreams. Then there was just me, Esther Noëlle. My only two skills were reading comparison and languages. I know that alone was great. I knew most people barely spoke two. However, I always felt like…like I wasn’t whole. Like I wasn’t really living but merely going through the motions. Whenever I wanted to go I found myself staying put like I was waiting…waiting for what though?
Li-Mei was twenty-eight and after graduating from Princeton she backpacked all across Europe taking the most breathtaking photos, of which she later published in multiple magazines before joining us only two weeks ago. She was single but not because she was too busy traveling or too beautiful, but because she was searching for the one. She had almost everything she wanted and her life was all laid out for her.
Rafi Patel, my grandfather’s personal assistant, was a recent film graduate who’d won the honor to shadow and be mentored by my grandfather for a year. Penohxi was created only twenty-three years ago and my grandfather’s dream to bring more diverse stories and backgrounds to the forefront of entertainment had exploded faster than even he’d expected. We were now ranked alongside Google and Facebook as one of the happiest places to work. Working here was every English Major’s dream job, and to get here you needed to be the best.
But I didn’t go to any Ivy League, instead, I went to NYU.
I got average grades: As and Bs.
I’d never traveled anywhere outside of New York, California, and New Jersey. And those were all for work with my grandfather when I was younger. Everywhere I looked people all around me had a goal they were running towards and I was just following my grandfather.
You’ve got FanMail!
The crown icon on my computer screen blinked.
“I wish,” I muttered to myself as I opened it and read AngstLover4Lord’s message.
Dear Mr. Lord,
First off your name is so cool! Has anyone every told you that?
“Yeah like almost every other day,” I replied softly still reading.
I know you like to keep a low profile and I’m not even sure if this message will get to you but I just needed to tell you…your book changed my life. Seriously, I’ve always been so depressed and being shy makes it hard for me to speak up most times. But after reading Smile at Her and Duchess of Hope I realized how fleeting life can be and why we need to speak or die with our words. Today, some girls at school were trying to get me to do their homework for them again. When I told them no, you should have seen their faces. It’s a small step but I’m sure by the time I go to college next year I’ll have it down pat like the Duchess of Marina. Thank you and never stop writing. I’ll always keep r
eading.
Your #1 fan from Austria,
Franziska.
“Wow.” I had to fight back tears. I was a crybaby, yeah, I know, but it was so sweet, and I completely understood her.