Malachi and I

When she said that I realized she had no idea why I really wanted to know…I guess she thought I’d be jealous or upset. But I wasn’t upset about Howard. I was upset with Li-Mei…even though I had no right to be. It’s not like she knew about…him. But still. I felt bad. Like I’d caught a wife cheating on her husband while he was away.

“Esther?”

“Huh?” I looked back at her and she was anxiously looking over me. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Besides, Li-Mei gets back tonight so I’ll see her for dinner.”

Her eyes went wide.

“Don’t worry, I won’t talk about this or ever let anyone know you told me. I promise.”

“There is no promise better than a Noëlle’s promise,” she whispered. It was something my grandfather used to say. She looked down at the glass in her hands. “I miss him.”

“Me too,” I said leaning back. In one month, it would be a full year since he’d passed.

“Is that why you haven’t changed his office?”

I looked around at all his awards, and photos, and…life…all hanging on the walls of his office. It was my office now but it would always be his.

“Yes. Besides I have nothing to replace it with.” What could I hang up? My college diploma? It seemed kind of silly in comparison…seeing that my grandfather had never graduated from university. Though he’d been given many honorary degrees.

“You still have a long life ahead of you. I’m sure you’ll be replacing—no—doing greater and better things,” she said as she stood up and snapped her fingers. “Like your book! Why wasn’t I the first to get a copy of the final draft? I heard Rafi demanded to direct if it ever becomes a movie. Apparently it’s gone be huge he said. It’s about the Japanese internment camps, right? When are we publishing it?”

“Not until I get the okay,” I whispered rising too.

“From whom?”

“Thanks for drinking with me, Shannon.” I nodded to her. Understanding that I didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t press my any further and instead smiled at me as she walked out.

I moved towards my chair, reached for the remote and hit the button that caused the glass walls to frost over.

Returning my attention to the computer screen I saw that the word CONFIRM was still there.

Scrolling up, I clicked yes only to be met with, “Error: Your session has expired. Please rebook this flight.”

But when I tried to rebook it, the flight was full. I couldn’t help but laugh as I sat back down in my chair, which felt awkward to sit in. After al

most a year it was still molded my grandfather’s shape and had refused to change to mine. “Why is it so easy to leave Lieber Falls but such a pain to get there?”

Was he even there still?

I wasn’t going for him. I wasn’t. I was going to see Mr. and Mrs. Yamauchi. I wanted them to read the book and hear their thoughts. But I knew if I went…I’d end up trying to see him again, if only to slap the hell out of him.

Malachi Lord. After everything my grandfather had done for him he hadn’t even attended his funeral? Why? Because he was worried about Li-Mei. Meanwhile, she was busy screwing someone else!

“Ms. Noëlle?”

“What?!” I snapped as I turned around to see Adith, Rafi’s timid, less chic, younger brother, staring back at me, his hazel eyes wide. “Sorry. Come in. What is it?”

“You’re meeting with the lawyers from Semi-Ted Entertainment. You’re going to be late if you don’t leave now. I called a car. I heard Mr. Rickman tends to talk a lot, so I’ve pushed you’re meeting back to five thirty. That gives you more than enough time to meet up with Ms. Zhou before heading to the Gala tonight. Your dress has been sent over to your apartment or would you like it brought here?”

“Here is better. Traffic is going to be pain from my home,” I said as he handed me my bag and coat.

“No problem,” he said already texting. “And I’ll let them know you’re on the way.”

I nodded as I buttoned my coat and placed my leather Prada gloves on. I grabbed my sunglasses, the ones I used for more than just the sun, and walked out of the office with Adith right behind me. Everyone in the Hive gazed up at me and I realized once again that I wasn’t my old self anymore. I’d know that my grandfather was important—that his work was important—but after he died and I saw the magnitude of everything that was now left to me to take care of. I realized he’d been holding the sky up above my head…allowing me to just be young and enjoy life without worrying about anything other than myself. And now that he was gone, I couldn’t just think of me any longer.

My grandfather’s legacy. Everything he’d built, everything he’d dedicated his life to, I couldn’t and wouldn’t let go to waste. So I couldn’t be their friend…I couldn’t be really approachable, not with so many people trying to take everything away. I had to be Esther Noëlle and the sunglasses helped to create the necessary distance. If they couldn’t look into my eyes, they couldn’t see how weak I felt.

“Have a good lunch.”