“Li-Mei…”
“Not her. You. You, Esther Noëlle. I ran to the mountains and you still found me. I’ve never been able to escape you,” I said trying my best not to give in to my own tears of joy and pain. “I can’t. I don’t want to. You’ve been the greatest love of my life a thousand times, and I now remember why…because without you I have no sun. I’m overwhelmed by darkness. I can’t laugh or breathe without you. I live because of you.”
“Malachi…you’re making a mistake again—”
“You want proof?”
She wordlessly regarded me before nodding her head.
I tilted her head back and glanced at her full, slightly parted lips before I bent down and kissed her. It was in that moment when my lips touched hers I remembered why I’d looked for her over and over again. Kissing her…kissing her made me whole again. It warmed my soul.
She was the sun of my existence.
Without her I was cold and dead on the inside.
ESTHER
It was as though the ground beneath me broke away when he kissed me. I was falling and he was falling with me. All around me I felt the sun rise on us. I felt snow and rain and the wind blowing. I felt the sand under my feet, then grass, and I couldn’t help but hold on to him tighter.
I couldn’t help but kiss him back, and with a longing unlike anything I’d felt before, I gave into his kiss and slowly opened my mouth. The world changed around us and each time it did my heart ached. I wanted to laugh and cry and sing and dance. Emotions flooded me and it made breathing, thinking, and almost everything else painful. Pain…so much pain.
2nd Onwa Ite Na Ni (September) 1684 – Obofia Forest, Igboland, Nigeria
“Banjoko! NO! NO!”
As I ran forward to stop him, the distance between me and Obinna seemed to span as wide as the oceans. At my voice, Obinna turned around just as Banjoko’s spear went through his chest.
“AHHH!” I screamed and the distance, now that it was too late, became short again. As I reached him, he fell. “Obi! Obi!...ahh….”
Unable to speak he reached up to touch my face.
“No…no…” Rocking back and forth I held on to him.
“You can’t save him. Take my hand. They’re coming!”
“CURSE YOU!” I screamed as I smacked his hand away. And when he moved to grab me I pulled the knife and held it to my neck. “You can’t save me! Go! GO!”
He stood there but when he saw the fire rising from the village he backed away slowly.
“Adaeze…”
Ignoring him, I held on to Obinna and continued rocking back and forth.
JULY 4th 1781 - Guanajuato, New Spain
“Ana!”
Carlos leaped from his balcony to mine and grabbed hold of me, pulling me away from my father, who was staring at me in shock as he backed away and let the knife drop from his hands.
“Papa…” I wanted to tell him…ask him why…but I couldn’t and my legs gave out as Carlos lowered me to the ground while screaming at Papa. “Help! Get help!”
He pressed his hands against my chest as he tried to stop the bleeding. It hurt…it all hurt. Reaching up I took his bloodied hand.
“I’ll…see you…again.”
“ANA NO! Please. Please Don’t… ANA!!” I felt his tears on my face.
***