“Helen, please, please. We almost lost you.” My mom tried to touch me, but I shook my head.
“I…ne…ed…to…see…him,” I said to her.
“Helen, he’ll still be here,” my dad whispered, putting his hand on my head, but I shook it off.
“If…he’s…dead…you’re…burying…me…too!”
“HELEN!” my mom screamed in my face. She grabbed onto me and yelled. “STOP! Please just stop! He’s gone! Sweetheart, I know you both were close. But you need to rest—”
“I…love…him.”
“I know, baby—”
I shook my head again. They weren’t hearing me. Goddamn, my throat. I needed to speak. “I love him…like you…like you love dad…he goes…I go.”
“What?” my father barely whispered out. I couldn’t read his face, but I didn’t know what to do but tell the truth.
My eyes burned from my own tears, but I couldn’t stop. I needed them to know. I needed them to hear.
“We…he…was…going to tell you…when you came…. b…back.” I smiled despite my tears. “We were…happy. So happy. He’s not gone, Daddy. He wouldn’t leave me here.”
He let go of my hand, shaking his head as if he couldn’t understand me. His eyebrows frowned together. “What are you saying to me right now, Helen? He was your cousin.”
“Is.” I corrected and smiled. “But not by blood, though.”
He didn’t speak. He just stared at me. I looked over to my mom, hoping she’d understand, but she was too worried over my heart rate. “Mommy…I need to see him.”
“Helen, we just got you back, please don’t—”
“You will lose me. I swear, if you don’t take me to him,” I whispered, my voice no longer as high as I wanted it to be.
They all stood there like shocked, confused mannequins. No one moved. No one said anything. Instead, they made me feel like I was delusional. The longer they stayed that way, the more I imagined him just lying there.
“We’ll talk more after you sleep—HELEN!”
The moment Father started to speak, I stuck my tongue out and bit down hard.
“HELEN, STOP!” my father screamed, squeezing my jaw.
“GIVE HER SOMETHING!” My father hollered at the doctors.
I felt so bad hurting them. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but they weren’t hearing me.
No! I wanted to cry when I started to go numb.
DARCY
Up was now down.
Right was left.
Cousins were lovers.
Love was killing people.
That was the world I now lived in. I didn’t understand it. I liked it even less than I understood it. My emotions no longer felt like they had left my body. The pain had gotten in so deep that, to stop myself from hurting, I had to shut down. I couldn’t let myself think too much or feel too much. I just had to move, do what was logical. I needed to be with her - my big sister, the computer brain - Everyone was just an equation to her…or at least the old her. I wasn’t sure who the crazed woman biting her tongue off before me was, but I was describing her that way because that face…belonged to my sister.
Each time she woke up, she asked for Wyatt.