That Thing Between Eli & Gwen

But, she didn’t. She just stood there.

“Why are you confused?” she asked, finally turning. “When you say things like that, it comes off like—”

“Like I like you?” I said, and it felt like a relief to say. “Maybe it’s because I’ve talked to you more than anyone else. Maybe because I was heartbroken after Hannah, and you could see right through me, and it didn’t seem like a big deal anymore. Maybe it’s because you make my whole family seem brighter. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how I got here. One moment you were just that other woman who got hurt too, and then you were Guinevere. Funny, weird, talented, beautiful Guinevere, and I’m thinking about how you smell like rain, and whether you’ve eaten. I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that I’m thinking about you, and not just like a friend.”

“Hannah is—”

“Not my problem. Nor is she yours. I really don’t want to spend right now talking about them; we’ve done that. I want to talk about you and me, and this thing between us.” I took a step forward.

She took a step back until her back was against her door.

“Tell me, Guinevere. Am I crossing a line? Am I the only one going down this road?”

“We will hurt each other, Eli. This is just going to be a rebound—”

“I'd rather get hurt a dozen times, remember? Or was that just talk?”

“Eli—”

“I’ll ask again, Guinevere: am I mistaken? Am I the only one who feels something here?”

She looked to the side and shook her head.

“You have to say it.” I needed to hear the words.

She licked her lips, took a deep breath, and looked me square in the eye. “No. Happy? I’ve been trying to tell myself we are just friends, but I keep…I keep hoping to see you, and talk to you, and be around you…you are slowly taking up all the space in my head, and I—”

I kissed her. Not like the peck on the lips I’d given her at the university; I kissed her like I meant it. Her mouth was soft against my own and opened slightly for me when I licked the bottom of her lip. I held onto her waist and pressed her up against the door, her hands went up into my hair, pulling me closer.

I felt my fingers crawling up the length of her, cupping one of her breasts.

Shit. I didn’t want us to start like that. I forced us apart.

“What?” she said.

We both took deep breaths, though neither of us had moved, our bodies still pressed together.

“This is what I do when I just want to screw a woman, Guinevere. I said I wanted to see where this is going with you, and a one-night stand is not where I want it to go, so we need to stop.”

“Okay.” She nodded, pushing me away.

But I didn’t like that either, leaning in and kissing her again. She bit my bottom lip and I moaned into her, her tongue in my mouth, tempting me more.

“Fuck. No,” I said again, taking a step back. “You weren’t supposed to be this good.”

She laughed. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” She just had this innocence about her; the fact that she was so passionate already was throwing me for a loop.

“So let's call it a night?” she said to me.

I found myself staring at all her curves but, biting my lip, I nodded.

“Okay then. See you tomorrow?” She opened her door.

“Wait.”

“Eli! You’re killing me here.”