"God, I love you." He gasped as he fell on top of me.
I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t even sure I could speak at this point. I just held on to him.
I heard Cleo and Mark whispering outside the bedroom door. Closing my eyes, I tried my best to block them out, to only focus on him and this moment.
Theo
Rolling over, I reached for her, but the spot next me was cold. I would have panicked had it not been for what sounded like her puking in the bathroom.
“Felicity?” I got up and grabbed my boxers from the floor.
“I’m fine! Don’t come in!” she yelled before she once again threw up.
I opened the door and saw her sitting in front of the toilet, her body covered in sweat. She was dressed in my shirt. “You don’t s
ound fine.”
“I told you not to come in,” she muttered, pushing herself off the floor. I tried to help her, but she brushed my hand away. “Do you always have to see me at my worst? I’m embarrassed enough.”
“Fuck being embarrassed. If you aren’t feeling well—”
“It’s just the meds. They warned me it would cause nausea,” she said, rinsing her mouth out with water.
“Dr. Butler said there were other combinations of—”
“No! No more experimenting on me. I’ve tried so many different drugs in my life. I’m so tired and just need them to be gone. If I take this long enough, they will go away!” she cried, clutching the sink.
“Who?” I stepped up beside her. Her head shot up to me so quickly you would have thought I’d screamed at her. Her eyes widened, and she swallowed slowly but didn’t answer. “Felicity, who is it that you want to go away?”
“It’s nothing, I just meant—”
“Don’t lie to me, Felicity. You’re still seeing them. Mark and Cleo, you still see them. You lied to your doctor… to me.”
She shook her head. “I know they aren’t real! I didn’t mean to lie, but it’s not working. That place isn’t for me. ”
“Oh god,” I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew it. She wasn’t ready. How could I have just—fuck.
“Theo.” She reached for me, but I stepped away from her.
“You need to go back.”
She glared at me, shaking her head. “No, I won’t!”
“Felicity!” I yelled, but she stomped into the bedroom. Following her, I grabbed her arm. “You need to go back.”
“What part of no are you not understanding! I will not. I can’t go back to that place. I won’t do it.”
“Then I can’t do us!” The moment I said it, I regretted it. She looked like I’d hit her. Her hands clenched, and when I reached out again, she held one up as if to repel me.
“I tell you that I love and you use it as blackmail for me to do what you want?” She bit her lip so hard, I was worried she was going to draw blood as tears fell down her face.
“I want to be here with you more than you realize, but we can’t be in a relationship when you believe two other people are with you at all times. You need to go back.”
“I can’t.” She shook her head, and I wanted to scream. Why didn’t she understand? “Everything in me is telling me that isn’t the place I should be. If you love me, then I need you to trust me.”
“Felicity, this is insane.”
Fuck. I’d managed to put my foot in my mouth again. I had just punched Arty for calling her that. “Felicity—”