Sugar Baby Beautiful

“I know what you meant.” She searched for her things.

“Felicity—”

“Why won’t anyone listen to me!” she screamed. “NO. I said it and I meant it, and if you can’t handle it, I’ll go back to my place.”

“Stop!” Urgh, she drove me insane. “It’s late. I’ll stay in the guest bedroom. Just get some rest, okay? We can finish this in the morning.” She sat on the bed. “I want to believe you. I wish it were just that simple, but Felicity, you aren’t helping anyone by lying about what is really going on with you—”

“Thank you, Dr. Darcy, for your concern,” she muttered. Annoyed, I slammed the door behind me. Goddamn it all.

What was I doing? Why did it always feel like one step forward and ten back?

Maybe I was the crazy one for trying.

Felicity

11:39 p.m.

When the door closed, I went back to the bathroom, feeling the urge to puke what had to be only air at this point. There couldn’t be anything left in my stomach, but I still felt like shit.

“So telling him the truth was a bad idea,” Mark said behind me.

Lying on the bathroom floor, I flipped him off. “Go to hell.”

“From the sight of you, it looks like were already there,” he said, leaning against the sink. “Is this the end of the rope for you and our favorite sugar daddy? He wants you to go back to the nut house and you—”

“Don’t call it that.” It wasn’t a nut house. I saw the other patients. They had issues. But they weren’t all crazy. All of them just looked broken. What was worse was they didn’t even seem to realize it.

“But you do,” Mark replied.

“Get out of my head, Mark.”

“I can’t.” He sighed, and Cleo came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her body and hair.

“Honestly, Felicity, aren’t you tired of being like this?” she asked, drying her face. “No one listens. No one will ever listen. Either you go back to Crossroads or go back home alone. Those are Theo’s choices.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” I muttered.

“Make them listen, Felicity.” She lifted my pill bottle. “You can’t go back, right?”

Pushing myself off the floor, I snatched the bottle, not even thinking as I poured them all into my hand, then into my mouth, taking the water Mark gave me to wash them down. The moment I did, they both went away, and the cup slipped from my hand.

Oh no! Oh no! I didn’t want this. Not this!

I snatched my toothbrush off the counter and immediately put the end of it into my mouth, trying by any means necessary to force myself to puke. My throat contracted and my body tensed but nothing. My hands started to shake over and over again. Dropping the toothbrush, I tried my fingers, forcing them into my mouth.

My heart rate was rising and it my eyesight felt like it was dimming. I didn’t know if it was the panic setting in or the drugs.

Damn it! Oh God. Oh God.

I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore!

“Theo!” I screamed, stumbling out of the bathroom, my legs felt like Jell-O, my vision was blurred, but I didn’t stop screaming even when my ears started to ring. “THEO!”

The doors burst open as I got to the bed. My legs gave out and I gripped the bedpost.

He caught me, hugging me to him. “Felicity, what happened?”

“I’m… sorry,” I murmured, my eyes moving to the bathroom. Following the direction of my gaze, he saw the bottle and cup on the floor.