My Thea, God bless her, was a runner by nature. The moment she got spooked, she had a tendency of throwing up walls, and last night I must have scared the hell out of her. I hadn’t meant to tell her that I loved her out loud. I couldn’t help but think it, and before I could stop myself, it was spilling out of my mouth… we made love, but she never once said it back, and she didn’t bring it up again.
“This is a bad idea,” Bethan said in a panic, as Tristan held her back from taking their daughter out of Thea’s arms.
“What if she wakes up at night and she doesn’t see me?”
“She will cry, go back to sleep, and see you again in the morning,” Tristan sighed, placing Bellamy’s bags on the floor. “She has everything she could possibly need. It’s just one night, she’ll be okay sweetheart,” he reassured Bethan.
She shook her head, and took Bellamy back into her arms. Tristan groaned, shaking his head at her. “I’ll be in the car.”
I understood his frustration. Since Bellamy’s birth, Bethan had never let her out of her sight for more than a few hours. She had kind of put everyone else on the back burner. But I also understood Bethan’s reasons; they had tried for years to have a child of their own and had suffered numerous miscarriages. While pregnant, she didn’t want to get her hopes up and she had often complained or ignored the life growing inside her because she was worried about losing it. Now that she had a healthy little girl right in front of her, being apart was almost more than she could bear.
“Bethan,” I said, but I wasn’t sure what to say to her.
“Bethan,” Thea said softly, moving closer to them both, “I basically raised my baby sister. I never went anywhere without her. I went to a high school right across the street from her elementary school. I get it, and I promise to send you pictures during the night. But I think you both need a break before you crack.”
She sighed, kissing Bellamy’s head before handing her over to Thea.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, she’s so quiet, we’ll be fine,” Thea said as she rocked her.
“I’ll be here as well, so go before Tristan writes a big speech in the car,” I said, taking her hand and leading her to the door.
“Okay, if you—”
“We got it, we’ll be fine. Goodbye,” I cut her off, as I ushered her though the front door.
Tristan mouthed thank you, as he held open the passenger side door for her. Waving at them, I closed the door before leaning back against it. Inside, Thea sat on the floor, and placed Bellamy in her bright pink princess bouncy chair.
“You always know what to say,” I said to her, as I crouched down beside them.
She smiled, still staring at Bellamy, “Most moms— good moms— just want to know that their kids are safe. It makes me happy to see how much Bethan loves her. After we were born, my mother kind of just left us in the care of our father. He was writer, so he stayed at home while she was out making a name for herself… sorry, that was depressing—”
“Don’t be, you can talk to me about anything.” I kissed the side of her head and stood back up again. “What do you want to eat?”
“I’m fine right now. I need to study anyway, but thank you,” she said, grabbing a few books out of her bag and dropping onto the couch. I noticed that she didn’t look at me once.
“Oh, right, you have other classes. How are they?”
I’m so lame. I’m trying to start conversation with my girlfriend, because I said the damn “L” word.
“Compared to yours? Not nearly as stressful.”
Still no eye contact.
“Even Professor Noland? She gives out papers like Christmas gifts.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, but honestly if you regurgitate everything she says in class in your paper, you’ll be fine. It’s like she doesn’t even notice it’s her own words.”
I wanted to shake the living daylights out of her. I could accept the fact that she wasn’t ready. What I couldn’t accept was the wall she was rebuilding right before my eyes. Bellamy threw her toy across the floor, and only then did I see her face as she handed it back to her.
“I thought you wanted to eat?” she asked, flipping through her book again.
“Yeah, I’m going to.”
Walking into the kitchen, I dialed the one person in the world who I knew would understand this.
“Selene?” I said softly.