“I’m not at your place. I needed to make a stop. I’ll be there by in a few hours—”
“Thea, where in the hell could you be going that’s more important than this?”
“I’m going to visit my father,” I said, hanging up on him just as the police officer and his dog came up to my car window.
I gave him my pass, and he waved me through.
I could feel my heart slamming against my chest as I parked and got out. Over the last couple of months, I had written him over two dozen letters and had never heard anything back. I figured that he didn’t want to see me… and I was too scared to go see him.
I had a vague image of the man that was once my father in my head, and I didn’t want that image of him to be gone as well. Would he still smell like aftershave? Would he still eat purple skittles with me? It was dumb, and I knew I was holding on to false hope, but it was all I had left. I was being selfish though, not seeing him all these years because I didn’t want to lose my happy memories.
“Who are you here to see ma’am?” the guard at the desk asked me.
“Ben Walton. I called.”
“Some ID please?”
Handing him my driver’s license, he scrolled down a white clipboard his shaking his head at me.
“I’ve got a Thea Walton on the list. No Cunning. The names have to match. He should have filled out a new visitors sheet for you, this one hasn’t been updated in years.”
Obviously he never expected me to come either.
“I have an old ID,” I said as I opened my wallet and took out the old college ID; the school had messed up and put my old name on it. I had gotten a new one, but couldn’t bring myself to throw it out. He took it held up to my face and then looked at my license.
“Step over there, we need to search you,” he said, as he handed them back to me.
“Thank you,” I replied, as I walked to where he pointed.
“Do you mind if I check for any foreign objects in your hair and on your person?” a woman asked when I stepped up.
She asked, but I don’t think it was a question.
Nodding, I turned around. She patted a little hard but I didn’t say anything. It felt like a never-ending line of checkpoints before I was finally taken to the visiting room. On TV, I had always seen the glass with the telephones on both sides, but in real life, it looked more like a cage.
The guard signaled for me to sit, and
when I did, the door on the opposite side opened. I held my breath as he walked in, his hands, feet and waist chained. He was just as tall as I remembered, with skin as dark as mine, and grey hair. His faced looked hard, like he had taken so many hits to the face that it was almost stone. I noticed the large white bandage wrapped around his neck, and the method of his suicide attempt became apparent. I held my breath, fighting against the surge of emotions that had welled up within me. He sat down, but they didn’t unchain him.
“Who are you?” he asked as soon as he picked up the receiver.
His voice was deep and scratchy and his eyes looked me over emotionlessly.
Wiping a tear from my eye, I tried not to let it bother me. “It’s me, Dad. Thea Bear? Remember?”
His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t speak.
“You’ve been getting my letters right? Selene’s too?”
Again silence.
“You haven’t written back so…”
“You shouldn’t have come here,” he said to me, as he hung up the phone.
I slammed my hand against the glass, causing the guards to come forward from their place at the doors.
“Sorry,” I said to them quickly, and turned back to him. I motioned for him to pick up the phone again.