Childstar 3

“I tell your brother that all that time,” I replied, almost reflexively.

He grinned like a mad man. “The day that guy quits will be the day pigs fly. It’s my bad, really. I gave him his first one for his twelfth birthday, and he’s been stuck since.”

“Twelve?”

“Yeah, you see—never mind, it’s a long story. Look, I’ve been trying to be on the lookout for our old man,” he said, apparently remembering why he broke into my car.

“Noah’s looking for him, too.”

“Really?” He sat up, nodding. “I knew he wouldn’t just leave him hanging like that.”

“What do you mean? He’s trying to get Frank to turn himself in—”

“What the fuck?” he yelled at me. The smile he had was gone, and in its place was anger as his fist hit the seat in front of me. “How can he be so goddamn selfish? Pops won’t make it in jail—”

“It’s either that or the Callahans.”

He breathed through his nose, eyes never leaving mine. “We’re family. We don’t sell each other out. I found our old man, and we are going to get him out of the States for awhile until all of this cools down.”

“He shot at cops and lost $200 million—”

“I don’t give a fuck! We don’t sell out family!” he shouted at me and then pointed at me. “And no matter how many time he fucks ya, you ain’t family either.”

“What are you—?”

“I’m saying you better remind Noah that we take care of our own before anyone else. If he doesn’t help pop get out of this, a certain W.E.W.A. award winner might just show up floating in the harbor.”

“Are you threatening me right now? How will that make him help you?”

He shrugged. “It might not. But mutual destruction helps no one.”

Now I knew why Noah didn’t want me to be around him any more than I needed to be. He was only two screws loose from going totally unhinged.

“After everything Noah has done for you, you’d turn on him like this?”

“Shut up. You know nothin’ about Noah or me. And it’s Noah’s choice if I turn on him or not. I don’t want to. I would protect him and make sure you got the blame alone, just like you deserve. But family is different. No matter what they do, you can’t just turn your back on them. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” he asked, opening the door for himself. “Pass on the message. It’s hard as fuck getting to you people through normal ways with everyone gunning for us.”

When he was gone, Daniel came back in quickly.

“Are you okay?”

I couldn’t answer. I only leaned back into the seat further, wishing I could just disappear or go back to that one night and stop Esther some other way. As Daniel drove, I glanced down at the award beside my feet. I lifted it up, running my hand over the glass.

I felt like I could hear her laughing at me.

“Daniel.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“When you get the chance, get rid of this for me,” I said, throwing it in the front seat.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

Looking out the window, I saw my own reflection, and I didn’t like it. Not because I was guilty, but because I was staring at someone who had no idea what to do without help. I had given a speech telling young girls everywhere to just do whatever it is they wanted to do, yet I couldn’t take my own goddamn advice.

How do I fix this?

How do I—