“Not today,” Carter said.
She sighed and shrugged. “Pity.”
After finishing up with lunch, they made their way over to the touristy shops where they checked out all the offerings. While they stood side by side wearing funny hats, it was hard not to look at Carter and imagine what this would be like if it was just a regular Saturday afternoon back home at the monthly flea market. Just being a couple of goofs together. In all her time spent running the thirst account, it had never been about Carter Hayes the possible partner, but now it was hard to look at him and not imagine that.
Realization landed like a bad joke, it sucked all the air out of the room and left her wanting to crawl into a dark hole. She didn’t just lust after him, he wasn’t just a distraction from the basic drudgery of her life, she liked him, and it would be so easy for it to be more than just that.
She had to tell him about the thirst account, explain that it had all been done in good fun. She had to let him know that she posted about seeing him on board but that she’d deleted it as soon as she could. With any luck he’d see it as just being a silly blip in his life. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it and it wasn’t like it changed the way he lived his daily life. Hell, he probably had no idea the account even existed. She’d tell him, feeling like a total fangirl dork. He’d laugh. It would be fine. Fine.
Rationalize much, Aubrey?
Damn. She hated it when her grown up self was right.
That formerly awe-inspiring seafood lasagna swirled uncomfortably in her stomach. “Carter, I gotta tell you something.”
He put back the cruise-ship-shaped hat he was wearing, tugged her behind one of the shop huts, and leaned in close as if they were sharing a secret. “Is it about how you’ve decided we should get matching tattoos?”
Despite the general seasickness she was feeling even though she was on dry land, she had to chuckle at that idea. “Nope. It’s—”
“Is it about how you want to catch the next boat back to the ship because you want to see if we can fit the both of us in that teeny-tiny shower?”
“That is never going to happen. I can barely fit in it by myself.” They were literally built to fit a ten year old and that was it. “I need to tell you something.”
He dipped his head lower so his lips were millimeters from her earlobe. “Is it that you have a boyfriend?”
She shook her head, trying to maintain her sanity while her whole body was buzzing from being so close to him. He laid his hands lightly on her waist, not moving her closer but definitely making her heart rate shoot up.
“A husband?”
Another shake of her head because forming words was getting close to impossible.
He kissed the sensitive spot right behind her earlobe. “You’re part of a monogamous polyamorous relationship and you’ve broken their trust and can’t see me anymore?”
Desire warm and thick pulled at her, making her thinking fuzzy and her need to touch him greater.
“Then let’s wait.” He kissed a spot halfway down her neck. “Serious stuff later.” He toyed with the knot holding her sarong in place. “Let’s just enjoy this because I gotta tell you, I haven’t had this much fun with someone in a long time.”
Aubrey hadn’t either. Fun wasn’t really part of her life anymore. It was like until she’d hooked back up with her best friends from college, she’d forgotten she could. It wasn’t that her life in Salvation was that bad, it was just that it wasn’t how she’d planned for her life to go and some bitter little part of herself had let that fester and grow. What an asshole she’d been. She spent her days surrounded by sugar and family—who she loved—so what if she wasn’t hanging out in cafes in Paris or dancing in penthouses? It was past time she stopped feeling sorry for herself for having a good life that just happened to be different than what she’d expected. It was time to grow up.
“I love it when you get that look on your face,” he said, shooting her a cocky grin. “It means you’ve realized I’m right and that we should head back to the ship and not come out of our room until tomorrow.”
She was holding on to her control by a thread here. “We are going to have to have a talk though.”
“Another day,” he agreed, nuzzling her neck. “Today I have plans for that sweet mouth of yours.”
Then he kissed her and it scattered all of her best intentions to the four winds. Whatever it was about Carter that did this to her, she couldn’t get enough of it and that made giving in so much easier. They’d talk—they would—and she’d tell him everything but not today. Today, she’d pretend that what she was really starting to want could come true and she could be with him as if all of this wasn’t going to end in a few days when they got back to New York. She wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t sure she ever would be.
Nine
There were worse things than waking up to soft sunlight filtering in through the teeny-tiny stateroom window wrapped in the arms of a man Aubrey was still asleep enough to think she might be falling for.
Who are you bothering to lie for, Aubrey Dean? You are falling. You have done fallen. Past tense. Waaaaaay past tense.
Why did it suck so hard when her inner bitch was right?
Carter tightened his grip while his fingertips danced over the curve of her hip. “Does that groan mean you can’t believe we slept through dinner either?”
“O