My heart flew into a frantic pace, scraping around my still foggy head for a reason to get away from him as fast as possible. I turned and spotted a short brown tail peeking out from under the bed. “Hunter needs to go out.”
Jack moved the covers aside and stood up, revealing his glorious body. My eyes ran down the hard lines of his chest, flat stomach, and…before darting back up to his. He grinned at me, and I blushed even more, not needing the mirror to know I was tomato red.
“I’ll take the dogs out,” he said, finding his jeans and slipping into them without bothering to find his boxer briefs. “You relax. I’ll make some coffee and bring it up.”
“No, no. I’ll do it.” Hunter woke up and backed out of his place under the bed. He looked up at me with sleepy, half open eyes and wagged his tail. “You wanna go outside, boy?”
At the word outside, Princess came trotting into the room from wherever she’d been sleeping and wagged her tail up at Jack. He patted her on the head before pulling on his shirt from the day before. “Okay, looks like we’re both on deck.”
My stomach twisted, but I sighed and nodded. I needed a minute to come up with an excuse to get him to leave anyway.
Downstairs, I clipped Hunter’s leash on him and we took the dogs out the back door. Jack came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around me, gently pulling me back against his chest while the dogs roamed around the small yard to do their business. I stiffened at his touch, unable to relax fully. “What’s wrong?” Jack asked.
I pulled free of him and put a few paces between us. “I’m sorry, I just…can’t think, when you’re…like that.”
Jack’s face creased into a mix of confusion and disappointment. “All right, we don’t have to do anything, but Holly, tell me what’s going on. Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I said, sighing.
The crease between his brows deepened. “Well, then, what’s up?”
I stared off the deck, watching the rolling tide while I gathered my thoughts. “I just don’t know about this. Last night surprised me. I guess. It shouldn’t have. But it did.”
“Are you saying you regret it?” Jack asked.
My eyes flew back to him at his blunt question. His eyes were dark and intense as he waited for my answer, the confusion melting away. “I don’t know.”
“Wow.”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I know this isn’t fair. But I was serious when we talked about this the other day at the coffee shop. This whole situation is so complicated, and I already know it’s not going to work out for the long term.”
“Oh, you know that do you?” Jack’s question was fast as a whip, snapping me in the face. “How could you possibly know that? You haven’t even given it a chance.”
“That’s because it doesn’t have a chance!” I threw my hands up and lost hold of Hunter’s leash. I scrambled to snatch it from the ground before he realized he had a shot at freedom. “Jack, listen, I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but I’m not looking for a relationship. I feel like I was pretty upfront about that.”
Jack’s hard expression softened and he held up his hands. “All right let’s back this down a minute, here. I didn’t force you into anything last night.”
“I’m not saying you did! God, is that really what you’re worried about here? That I’m accusing you of something?”
“No! Not at all. I’m saying that because everything last night was well past the friend zone, and you were completely fine with it. So, from my point of view, it goes like this, you said you wanted to be friends, you don’t want to get involved with a military man, and I backed off. Then, on the lifeguard tower you changed the game. Which, obviously, led to last night. So, we wake up this morning and I’m supposed to know that somewhere between falling asleep and waking up, you’d changed your mind about the entire trajectory of the relationship?”
I sputtered for a moment, unsure of what I’d agree to if I said yes. The way he’d put it made me sound like some kind of indecisive bitch who changed her mind on the spin of a dime, just for kicks, which wasn’t true at all.
There was nothing fun about the suddenly sticky situation.
Jack crossed his arms. “Well?”
“No! I just…” I paused to take a deep breath, letting the moment of calm give me strength, “…I wanted to see what it would be like.”
Jack’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“I don’t mean it to sound like you were some kind of toy or conquest.”
“Well, then what do you mean? Cause from what I’m hearing, that’s sure what it sounds like. Somewhere along the way, you decided a fling would add some flavor to your vacation and I was just the guy who happened to be nearby. If that’s all I had wanted, you would have known it, Holly. Trust me. If you were some kind of hookup, I wouldn’t have taken you to Joe’s or spent an entire day out shopping with you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have bothered to take you up on a flight. Don’t you get that? I did all that because I like you and wanted to share your world and show you mine. I thought…” His voice carried off as he looked past me, his eyes fixed on the ocean. After a moment, he shook his head slowly to himself.