“There’s no answer. I emailed too.”
Rachel nodded. “What would you say to going out for some food? We’ll give it some time and see if we can’t figure out what’s going on. Who knows, by the time we get back, he’ll probably be back online again.”
I sighed, long and slow. I knew Rachel was only trying to help, but her cheery disposition wasn’t sinking through my layers of anxious thoughts and tangled fears.
“I can go get something and bring it back if you don’t want to leave?” She suggested at my hesitation.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll go with you.” I leaned over and set the computer on the coffee table. After another quick glance at the news, as the anchor launched into the same story for the third time in the last few hours, I clicked off the channel. I made sure I was still logged into the Face App before pocketing the phone in the kangaroo pouch on the front of my hoodie.
Rachel took the lead, knowing my mind was far too distracted to make decisions. We ended up stopping at a small cafe just a few blocks away from my condo. They had sandwiches, soups, and huge salads. We were seated right away at a table by the picture windows that looked out to the street and a line of shops on the other side. Rachel didn’t even bother looking at the menu, but I picked mine up and studied it with unfixed eyes, as my mind was still churning through a list of possibilities of what happened to Jack. I couldn’t stop wondering what had happened. Where he’d gone. Was he okay?
Still undecided, my eyes wandered from the list of options on the menu and drifted around the cafe. Everyone was going about their daily life as though nothing was happening. Like nothing was wrong. I didn’t blame them. I envied them. It struck me as a surprise at how far things had changed in less than twenty-four hours.
Our waitress came and Rachel took over, putting in my order when I struggled to find something on the menu that looked good. After she left, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened the news feed. Rachel was patient while I scanned through, only saying something when my breath caught in my throat. “Holly?”
There it was the thing I’d been looking for and dreading.
“Oh.
My.
God.”
I covered my mouth with my hand and my eyes filled with tears.
United States Naval Officer Shot Down in Firefight with Known Insurgents
“The White House has confirmed that a United States Naval F-18 fighter jet was shot down today over the Sinjar Mountain range in the Middle East. The jet was deployed as part of a strike force to provide air support for a unit on the ground that had come under fire…”
My eyes blurred and I couldn’t wipe away the tears fast enough to continue reading the article. The phone slipped from my hand and skittered across the table toward Rachel. “My God, Holly, what’s wrong?” She asked, even as she started reading the page that was still on the screen.
Each breath became harder and harder to take as my lungs burned and seized. The tears were rushing down my cheeks and I didn’t even bother to try and contain them. As I struggled to catch my breath, my heart raced and skyrocketed to unknown heights, making it harder to breathe.
“Holly?” Rachel’s face crumpled with concern as she reached for me. “Holly, slow down, honey.”
I shook my head violently. My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest, and I was swamped with panicked thoughts, not only for Jack but for myself. I’d never been so out of control.
“Someone help her!” Rachel cried out as she raced around the table to put an arm around me.
A man appeared from out of nowhere and crouched down beside the table. “Miss? I’m Jordan, and I’m a PA, a physician’s assistant.”
Rachel got out of the chair beside me to make room for the man to get closer to me. He asked me a series of questions about how I was feeling and I did my best to answer.
“Her heart rate is at 160 and climbing quickly,” Jordan said. “Take slow deep breaths.”
Rachel’s voice carried to me. “Is she going to be all right?”
“She’s displaying signs of an anxiety attack.”
“What should we do?” Rachel asked.
I sucked in a breath, which was as deep and slow as I could manage, but it was still too shallow to get relief. “I…can’t…breath.”
“Go to the ER. Now. I’ll call an ambulance.”
I shook my head, but Rachel overruled me and told him to go ahead. Rachel sat back next to me as he grabbed my phone to call for help, and I pressed my eyes closed to focus on each ragged breath and block out the rest of the people who were staring at me.