A Ruin of Roses (Deliciously Dark Fairytales 1)

He shrugged. “Maybe before the curse? Not since the curse, though. Or at least not since Butler One was killed gruesomely and Butler Two was thrown from a window. Since I have been in this post, no, there has been no one new in this castle.”

He scrunched up his face and slammed the wardrobe doors.

“Tower!” he shouted at me. “No one new has been in this tower!”

I put up my hands again, trying to digest this cascade of crazy. “Got it.”

He gave me a dirty look before glancing at the overstuffed chair in the corner. Then the table beside it. “Are you a reader?”

I came to attention. “You have a library?”

He rolled his eyes. “Only the best library in the whole magical world. Well, until the curse. We haven’t had anything new since then, obviously, since the rest of the world thinks we just faded away. Fucking demon magic.” He held the candle out, better illuminating me. His eyes widened. “Holy fuck, you’re pretty.” His expression turned grave. “You’re not allowed out after dark anyway, but don’t go out after dark. No one here will force you—the punishment is death if anyone does that—but they’ll be like flies on shit, mark my words. You’re new and you’re pretty and everyone will want to shame-fuck you. Boys who like boys, girls who like girls, boys who like girls, girls who like boys—they’ll all want to shame-fuck the new hot girl. They will want to do things that you will need another decade at least to be comfortable even talking about. So just stick to your room. Read your books, fuck yourself with those vibrators, and pretend life is normal.”

“I don’t know how I can possibly pretend that.”

“Man, I wish I were you.” He shook his head sadly.

“You wish you were a prisoner in a castle, kept away from your family who needs you, all because you went in the Forbidden Wood to keep your father from dying?”

“But did you?”

“What?”

“Did you keep your father from dying?”

I blinked at him. “Short term…yes.”

“Then at least your family is safe. Mine is dead. I came here at, like…” He put his hand out near his thigh, then raised it a little higher. “Little. My parents were nobles in the Red Lupine kingdom”—that was one of the wolf kingdoms still going, last I’d heard—“but they were exiled and then killed as they tried to leave. I was sent here. It was the only kingdom that would take me in. The former queen…” He put his hand to his heart. “She was a good, kind woman. She held this kingdom together. You know, I am a prisoner, too, just as much as you. I can go to the villages, but I’ll get deathly sick if I stay too long. Or that’s what I heard, anyway. I’m too much of a chickenshit to try it.”

“That’s why you’re still alive.”

He jabbed a finger through the air at me. “Exactly! Yes. That is why I am still alive. That and mediocrity. We’re all prisoners in this kingdom, though, in one way or another. At least you get a change of scenery. And don’t worry, the master is a royal cunt, but he won’t let your family starve. He has these, like, principles. He stole you, and you clearly did stuff they needed, so he will make amends for that. He will. I know he will. It’s his duty.”

“As the last remaining noble?”

“As the last remaining anyone who gives a shit, yeah. And as the only guy who can stand up to that ol’ demon king, may his dick rot off and fall into a grinder.”

“Tell me about that—”

“No.” He groaned and leaned to the side, like he was wilting on the vine. “No! I have to go get my nut off, then go to bed and sleep this off. I need there to be a point to dressing like this, otherwise it’s straight to shame-eating and then necessary dieting and— It’s a whole cycle. I just can’t handle any more dark situations in my life.”

He went to hand me the candle, thought better of it, and put it on the nightstand. He pointed at me. “Get a good night’s sleep, what’s left of it. We all get up a bit late here, for obvious reasons”—he spread out his hands to indicate his getup—“so you can have a lie-in. After that, we need to get your wardrobe sorted. The master will probably want to dine with you—”

“Fat chance. I’m his prisoner, not his escort.”

Hadriel let his hands flop over. “O-kay. You have troubled seas ahead. Fine. More power to you. Please leave me out of your struggles. You’ll still need clothes, though. I can see your tits through that top, and you’re dirty as hell. We are a civilized fucking outfit here.” He stared at me for a moment. “I realize that comment would’ve gone over a lot better had I not been wearing a purple beast costume with my cock hanging out.”