“Sometimes I can push it all aside and then she comes around and tells me what I should want out of my life and reminds me of all she’s sacrificed to get me where I am.” Sasha leaned into his strong arms and relaxed against him, appreciating his quiet understanding.
“You know, what I said about your mother applies to you, as well. You are responsible for your life. So you need to decide what you want. What will make you happy.”
To his credit, he never asked her to give up her career or to choose him over acting. But with her time in New York drawing to a close, she had so many thoughts and questions going through her mind.
What did she want? Could she leave the man she knew, without a doubt, that she loved? What choices were smart for her future and not short-sighted because she didn’t want to lose him a second time?
One conclusion she’d reached was, even if she continued to act with the schedule she’d been keeping, no relationship could survive. If she cut back, she had hope she and Xander could attempt to make their lives work, but she didn’t think either one of them would be truly happy with a long-distance relationship. So it all came back to that elusive question he’d asked her.
What, exactly, did she want for her future?
Xander walked away, his phone in his hand. At a loss as to how to make him understand, she decided to give him some space.
Jared caught her gaze and strode over. “Ready to go to your trailer?”
She nodded. “Thanks.” They started walking and Sasha found herself frustrated, not just with life but with this entire need for constant security. “Anything on the stalker?” she asked.
Jared shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. Everyone who has worked with you before has been checked out. No history of violence or mental illness by anyone on the list.”
Sasha sighed. “Where is Cass?” she asked, still worried about her friend.
“She went back to her hotel to rest.”
Sasha wrapped her arms around herself, upset that Cassidy had been hurt because of her. “Despite her being checked out by a doctor, she’s having a hard time since the attack.”
“Understandable,” Jared said. “Being Tasered is painful and frightening.” He stopped outside the trailer. “Here we are.”
The trailers were located on the outskirts of the set, and since her co-star was still filming at another location, it was quiet here now, no people milling about except for her second security guard.
“Hey, Rhodes. All quiet?” Jared asked.
He nodded. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Good. I’m going to check in with the office. I’ll be back to walk you to the car when you’re ready to leave. Just text me.”
She nodded. Rhodes watched the trailer but Jared was her main detail and driver. Tate still took over late at night.
Jared strode away and Sasha walked into her dressing room, closing the door behind her. A metal pitcher of water sat on a high snack table nearby, and she poured herself a glass, then sat down on the soft couch and tried to relax, needing a few minutes to pull herself together. Then she’d wash up, change, and get ready to head back to Xander’s. And that wouldn’t be enjoyable given his reaction earlier.
But what did he expect? He’d sprung the trip idea on her. Leaving tonight, of all things. She’d just wrapped her role, she had Cassidy to talk to and plan their return to California. Her stomach lurched at the thought of leaving Xander, and she rubbed her hand over her eyes, not caring about smudging the makeup she intended to remove anyway.
God. Why couldn’t she just stay in one place and have control over her career and what movies she did and when? Without the pressure of people pushing her to accept more and more roles? To choose between her personal life and her profession?
She sat up straighter as an idea came to her. She absolutely could do what she wanted. What if she formed a production company where she could pick projects she loved? She’d be able to both create and buy content, star in a project, or work behind the scenes. She certainly had the cachet to attract star talent, the ability to obtain start-up funding and take in a partner if she wanted.
Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest as the concept formed. And because it excited her more than acting in another movie right away, she knew she was on to something. This was a new dream she could make a reality, and she couldn’t wait to tell Xander.
Her trailer doorknob turned, the noise catching her attention. Only Xander or Cassidy would get past Jared and be allowed in unannounced, and Cassidy was gone for the day.
“Xander!” She hopped up from the sofa, eager to see him and explain her reaction earlier and make it up to him when she told him about her new idea.