All the Sauce (IceCats 4)

“That’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” he says, but I feel like he knows it isn’t. Being in the NHL with me is awesome. Going back to school without me is boring. I won’t say that, though. This isn’t about what I would do. He has to do what’s best for his mental health.

I’d rather have my brother healthy.

“Don’t replace me with Dart,” he warns me then, and I jeer loudly. Probably a bit more dramatically than I need to.

“Never.”

He holds out his fist, and we do our handshake. We’ve been doing it since we were little. I don’t even have to try; muscle memory makes it easy. When Evan’s arm snakes around my neck, I close my eyes as he rests his head on mine. Since I’ve always been the tallest, he would do this when we were kids when I was sitting down. He said it was to show he was strong and could kill me at any time, but I knew it was just the way we hugged. I reach up, holding his wrist in my hand, and swallow hard.

And we stay like that for longer than we should, but I dare anyone to say something to us.

It’s our “See ya later.”

Chapter Five

Angie

* * *

For the last week, I’ve dedicated an hour to working out after my shifts.

I’ve gone every night after work, and I even went on Saturday because I have no life outside of work and school. While I’m late tonight since I went to the café to finish a paper, I feel like a rock star for going, and I’m extremely proud of myself. I’m making time for me, and while I’m sore from my toes to my eyebrows, I am committed to keeping this going. It wasn’t Leroy’s comments or even the fact that I don’t think I can see my parents until I’m a smaller size, but rather, I want to look good enough for someone like Owen Adler to want to stare at. I am well aware that is not a reason to lose weight, that I need to do it for me. I hear this in therapy daily, but if I’m honest, he’s the reason.

Because as pathetic and disgusting as it is, I can’t stop thinking about him.

I was so proud of Evan for opening up and telling Owen what he’s been struggling with. While it sucks it ended the way it did, it was in Evan’s best interest. In no way do I think he is suicidal, but without the proper help and the right environment, unfortunately, he could turn to that, or even to drugs or alcohol. My goal is to stop addiction in athletes. I know this isn’t the outcome for Evan that the Adler family wanted, but I helped save him from a hole he might not have been able to get out of.

I’m so stoked about assisting him with that, but I can’t enjoy it because my thoughts are flooded with everything Owen. While I was completely taken by his unbelievable gorgeousness, it is actually the fact that he was so damn supportive that keeps me up at night. So protective and, ugh, it was so hot. I assumed he would be a jackass, try to talk Evan out of leaving. I was actually fully expecting him to do that, but that wasn’t the case. He listened, he was attentive, and he openly told his brother how much he loved him and how proud he was of him.

It was beautiful.

Which is why I can’t stop thinking of him.

I always thought of him as such a jackass, someone so obsessed with himself that he wouldn’t have the mental capacity to care for anyone else. It’s no secret that Owen got around in high school. He never kept a girlfriend. Never. Our private school was not small, yet Owen was always the topic of conversation.

If you wanted a relationship, you got with Evan. If you wanted to fuck, you got with Owen.

It was common knowledge, and I decided no matter how hot I thought Owen was, I wasn’t going to waste my time or my heart on someone who had the emotional range of a pea. That decision made me keep my distance, and my attraction to him made me dislike him greatly. Now, though, after watching him with Evan, I realize I was wrong. A very displeasing realization, to be honest.

As I walk on the treadmill at an incline, I watch the TVs above me to keep me going. I lifted weights for thirty minutes after finding a beginner’s guide to weight lifting online. Figured I’d give it a go, and I actually like it. Reminds me of when we would lift for hockey when I was younger. Or maybe I just enjoy the IceCats’ gym. It’s a pretty badass gym with all kinds of machines and equipment. It even has a lap pool, a sauna, and an ice bath area—though, I won’t touch the latter. Best part is, when I come to the gym, it’s usually dead. Either the players have games or they’re done for the day. Tonight, no one is here because of the game they had.