“You’re so fucking picky,” Chance told him. “It’s sex. Or blowjobs. Or hell, just a date. Have a little fun.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being picky, and so is he,” Oliver nodded at Miles who spoke next.
“But we’re not talking about me. And I agree, there’s nothing wrong with being picky to a certain degree, Chance. Oliver doesn’t stick his dick in anyone; you’re the opposite. Both of you should just become obsessed with your work like me.”
Chance ignored Miles.
Just then, Dare, the owner of the bar, approached their table. They’d gotten to know him fairly well in the years they’d been coming to Wild Side. He’d recently gotten into a relationship with his friend, Austin, who made appearances every once in a while.
“Chance, do you mind going back out? Tony fucked up his ankle,” Dare told him.
Chance stood. “No problem.”
“Thanks, buddy. I owe you,” Dare replied before saying hi to Miles and Oliver, turning, and walking away.
“I’ll see you guys in a bit,” Chance said. “But I’m glad you’re going out, Ollie. It’s been a while since the last time you dated. Maybe you’ve been waiting your whole life for a guy with a fucked-up laugh and he’ll sweep you off your feet or whatever the hell it is you’re waiting for.”
He kissed Oliver’s forehead; then did the same to Miles before he was gone, making his way through the crowd, and Oliver was left wondering if he was truly creating a reason not to like the guy. It wasn’t a crime to be particular about the kind of man he wanted to date, and as nice as Eddie was, he just couldn’t see himself being with the guy very long, which honestly made his gut cramp. Jesus, maybe he was too picky.…Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking long-term and should be thinking next orgasm instead.
“He likely has allergies. A little nasal spray might fix the guy right up,” Miles said, and Oliver started to laugh again, but he didn’t really feel it, and he couldn’t say exactly why.
CHAPTER TWO
Nothing felt right anymore. Matt couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but an emptiness had been slowly eating away at him for too long. He smiled when he was supposed to and laughed when he should. He and Parker went out with their friends and still fucked when they felt like it, but Parker had been playing on the side a little more than usual lately. Matt couldn’t blame him. He wondered why he didn’t want to play more himself, but even that felt like it took too much energy.
He couldn’t get into work. Parker was on his back constantly about all the jobs he’d turned down recently. When his contract with Max Cologne expired, he’d turned down everything Parker had sent his way.
Max had expected a lot out of him. He’d done it because there wasn’t a choice. He thought by slowing down on the jobs he took, he would feel like he could breathe again, like the heavy weight that always sat on his chest would lessen, but it hadn’t yet. He still felt like he was suffocating, the same way he did every time there was a camera on him.
Matt looked around the apartment he shared with Parker—at the custom crown molding and the windows overlooking the city. It was the kind of place he’d dreamed of living in when he was a kid. He lived the kind of life he’d always wanted, so why didn’t it feel as good as he thought it would? Why did he feel so…empty? Why didn’t he feel the way he thought he would? Like he was more?
A noise came from the hallway and he looked over just as Parker stepped out of his office.
He was a beautiful man—tall, self-assured. He looked like he belonged on the beaches in LA that Matt had left behind but also had a sophistication to him that Matt wasn’t sure he’d ever possessed. A confidence that oozed off him. Parker would never feel sorry for himself the way Matt did.
Still, they’d always gotten along well. They’d wanted the same things in life—freedom, fun, success—but where Parker felt satisfied, Matt didn’t.
“Why are you sitting here with the lights low?” Parker asked as he moved Matt’s way.
He reached for the lamp but stopped when Matt said, “The lights from the city make it bright enough. I like to look out and see how alive it is all the time.”
“I know you do,” Parker replied, then sighed, walked over and sat next to Matt on the couch. “What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. Nothing had changed recently. It was just that the feeling of emptiness had managed to spread through him. Had gotten stronger to the point where Matt couldn’t ignore it. “I just feel like I’m in a funk. I’ll get out of it.”