Gone for You (Wild Side 1)

He pulled out, his dick beginning to soften. They were sweaty, come and lotion all over but he didn’t give a shit. Oliver picked Matt up and carried him to the couch, where he lay down with him.

Matt’s arms went around him. He nuzzled into Matt’s neck and breathed him in. “You turn me inside out. I don’t want to ever stop touching you,” he said into Matt’s throat.

There was a pause, and then Matt’s soft voice. “I know.…This is going to be harder to stop than I realized. I…”

Oliver froze up. “Why do we have to stop, Matt? Seriously. Give me one fucking reason why we have to stop.”

“Because I live in New York and you live in LA, is a good one.”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “So? I’d give it a shot. It’s not like it would be difficult for me to travel. Fuck, I could move there if we wanted. I can work from anywhere.”

Matt jerked up into a sitting position. “Move to New York? Where did that come from? Your family is here.”

Oliver tried not to roll his eyes. “Chill out. I’m not talking about moving there tomorrow, if ever. I’m just saying that’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. Fuck, you could move here just as easily if you wanted to.”

He sat too, his leg bouncing up and down. He probably shouldn’t have started this, not right now but Jesus, he was so fucking tired of pretending. Of the excuses. In or out. They needed to make a decision now. Matt couldn’t keep running.

“My life is in New York. I don’t want to move back here.”

“A life you fucking hate!” Oliver bellowed, a sudden anger bursting through him. Everything out of Matt’s mouth was an excuse. Oliver loved him, fucking loved him, and Matt just wanted to throw that away? Over a job he hated and a bullshit excuse? Couldn’t he just want to try? Especially when there was a part of him that had started to believe Matt might love him too.

“You said you knew what this was, Ollie. You said you wouldn’t ask for more. Christ, now you’re talking about moving?” Matt shoved to his feet in a move that didn’t surprise Oliver.

He shook his head. “And you know you’re in love with me too, but you’re too fucking scared to admit it! All this is just nothing but an excuse, an excuse for you to admit you might give a shit about something, including yourself! Stay in New York. Move to Los Angeles. Who gives a shit what you do, but quit your fucking job. You know I’d help you if you need it. Fuck, maybe I can ask around and see if I can help you get things on track with your music.”

Matt’s eyes threw daggers at him, angry lasers that shot straight through Oliver’s chest. “You can never fucking stop it, can you? Stop trying to save me, Ollie.” He ran a rough hand through his hair. “I don’t need you to save me!”

Oliver couldn’t help but push to his feet at that. Anger caught fire in his chest, devastating everything in its wake as it ripped through him. “Then stop fucking acting like it! Jesus, look at yourself, Matty! You say you can take care of yourself, that you don’t need me, then what the fuck are you doing? You came here, to me, when shit fell apart. You gave up on your music years ago. You continue to do a job you hate and don’t even try for anything else. You’re too damn skinny because you don’t even fucking eat well, but you don’t need me to take care of you? Fucking prove it. Grow up and do something. Stop making excuses and fight.”

The devastation on Matt’s face nearly stole his breath. The second he’d spit those words out, he wanted them back. Wished like hell they had never formed in his brain.

Matt stood rigidly, his body like it was made of stone, pain bleeding from his features, from the fresh wound Oliver had given him. “Shit…I didn’t mean to say that. I—” Oliver tried to take a step toward him, but Matt shook his head.

“Fuck you, Ollie. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel. Now you finally see what I’ve always known. I’m not good enough for the perfect Oliver Hayes. The guy who always has the answers and always does the right thing. You would never have a relationship like I’ve had, and you would never give up on a dream but then, you wouldn’t have to. You’ve never known what it’s like not to get what you want.”

That wasn’t true because Oliver didn’t have him. He opened his mouth to say something, what he didn’t know, but Matt beat him to it. “Don’t. There’s nothing to say. I’ll be out of your hair within an hour.”