Hold on to My Heart (Maine Sullivans)

“We should make sure your mom doesn’t need more help with dinner or setting the table,” Nash told Kevin.

“It’s okay,” she said with a smile, “I can take care of getting everything else ready. Go have fun, you guys.”

It made her heart swell to watch Kevin and Nash bond, first over the van and now over Kevin’s beloved video games. While she wasn’t going to make the mistake of thinking that tonight’s family atmosphere changed anything about her and Nash’s future—it was still totally out of the question that they could ever make a real relationship work when he lived on the road and she was one hundred percent devoted to her son—she did deeply appreciate Nash helping her son laugh and have fun on a night that could otherwise have been so sad.

She also appreciated Nash’s big heart and selflessness. He could be on a date with a supermodel right now, or partying in a penthouse suite in a glittering city, or sitting down to eat a fancy gourmet meal with multiple courses.

Instead, he was spending the night in her tiny cottage in Bar Harbor, chopping vegetables for soup, making chocolate chip cookies, and playing video games with her son.

If she wasn’t careful, it would be really easy to fall in love with him.

* * *

After dinner and then a cutthroat three-person game of crazy eights using the Empress Sisi cards from Vienna—Nash had never played before, but he picked it up quickly—Kevin went to bed, and Ashley invited Nash into the backyard for the conversation he was dreading.

He’d had a great night with her and her son. One of the best nights he could remember.

What he wouldn’t give to take Ashley to bed and hold her close all night long. But from the look on her face, he knew that wasn’t in the cards. Not now.

Not ever.

“Thank you for spending the evening with us,” she said. “You completely made Kevin’s night, both with your enthusiasm for his van design and also by playing video games with him.”

“He’s a great kid. I had a good time, Ash. A really good time.”

Though she smiled at him, it wobbled around the edges. The same way his heart was wobbling.

“Maybe we should wait to talk,” he suggested, but she shook her head.

“It will only make things harder if we do. Especially now that Kevin is going to be working with you on your van.” Though her beautiful mouth was turned down, she bravely held his gaze. “I can’t keep being with you the way we were yesterday. The way we were in Vienna. It’s not that I haven’t loved every second, because I have. So very much. But now that you’re in my town, I have to think about what people around Kevin might say that could have a negative impact on—”

“You don’t want to be seen with a celebrity musician who has an arrest record.” He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter, but he couldn’t help it when he’d never been more bitter about anything than he was about having to keep his distance from Ashley.

“I know you’ve moved on from your past. I know you’ve learned from your mistakes. And I know how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are. You deserve to be admired and respected for your talent, which I do. It’s just…”

“It’s okay, I can take it. Whatever you’ve got to say.” Lord knew, after all the names and obscenities his mother had hurled at him, other people’s harsh words just bounced off him.

“People can be cruel,” she said in a rush. “Especially to kids. One of Kevin’s friends already asked him about your prison record.”

“I’m sorry, Ash.” Damn it, he’d never regretted his idiotic youth as much as he did now. He started to get out of his chair. “I’ll stay away from you. And from Kevin.”

“No!” He was surprised by her passionate response, especially when she grabbed his hand. “He’ll be totally heartbroken if he doesn’t get to work on the van with you. And even though people saw us kiss at the café, I think that if we’re careful to stay in the friend zone from now on, gossip will hopefully die down. People will understand that we’re just friends.”

“Okay.” He wanted to be so much more than just friends with Ashley. But if it meant he didn’t have to leave her immediately, he would take it. “Thanks for being honest with me, Ash.”

“The thing is, if I’m being totally honest…” She looked into his eyes, and he hated to see the pain in them. “The two of us needing to stay just friends is about more than gossip. It’s about more than me worrying about whether Kevin will be affected.” She swallowed hard. “The truth is that I can’t allow myself to get in any deeper with you when I know you’re going to leave. I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you, when I’ve barely even admitted it to myself, but it really hurt to say good-bye in Vienna. And if we allowed ourselves to get closer while you’re here working on the van…” She closed her eyes for a brief moment, looking anguished. “It would hurt even worse a second time. I know it would. And I don’t think I could stand to feel that way again, Nash. Which is why we absolutely need to just be friends.”