He wasn’t sure he knew anyone else who could be so honest about their emotions. Which was why he had to give her back total honesty. “It hurt me to leave you, too, Ash. More than I expected it would. I wish I could tell you that I’ll stay this time. But I’ve never been good at staying anywhere for too long.” He shook his head, admitting, “The only thing I’ve ever been good at is leaving. Every day a new city. Every night a new bed.”
He was surprised when she gently stroked his tightly clenched fist. “Do you think always leaving is still right for you?” Before he could reply, she added, “And I’m not asking you that because I’m trying to convince you to stay with me. I swear I’m not. I’m just wondering if there might be something permanent for you somewhere in the world. Something steady. Something that feels right.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never thought to look for anything permanent.” He unclenched his hand and turned it over so their palms were touching. “And I do understand the reasons why you don’t want us to be together again. The thing is…it’s not going to be easy staying away from you. In fact,” he said as he stroked the sensitive skin on her palm, and she shivered at his touch, “it might just be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.”
“I know. When I’m with you, I feel such a pull to be a little bit wicked.” She looked down at their hands, which were practically sparking electricity, their connection was so strong. “A lot wicked, actually.”
Nash knew it was time for him to be a good man. An honorable one. But damn it, it was difficult to force himself to lift his hand from hers and move away. Because even that one point of contact with Ashley had been so powerful, it shook him to his core.
“That’s my cue to leave. Before…”
She pushed back her chair and stood. “Yes. Before…”
Before he made love to her again, beneath the moon and the stars, with her son only a handful of yards away inside her house.
It was only through extreme strength of will that he propelled himself out of her backyard and on to the sidewalk where his beat-up van was waiting.
“Thanks again, Nash, for everything you did tonight.” Her voice sounded as strained as he felt. “I’ll text you the address to Rory’s warehouse, and Kevin and I will meet you there tomorrow morning. Will nine work?”
In Nash’s normal life, he was never up at nine in the morning, because he rarely finished after-show meet and greets with fans before two in the morning.
But while he was in Bar Harbor, he didn’t want to waste any time. He had two weeks to try to squeeze as much joy as he possibly could out of his time with Ashley.
“Nine is perfect.” He drank her in as she stood in the moonlight, looking beautiful in jeans and a T-shirt, her hair in a ponytail. “Good night, Ashley.”
“Good night, Nash.”
As he drove back to his lonely rental cabin in the woods, he couldn’t help but think about the questions she’d asked him. Despite his past, could it be possible that there was something permanent for him somewhere in the world? Something steady? Something that felt right? Something that looked a heck of a lot like Ashley and Kevin and their cozy cottage in Bar Harbor?
But Nash knew better than to bother with these difficult questions. The mistakes he’d made in his past would forever haunt any future happiness that he could have had with Ashley…beyond “the friend zone.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Ashley got to Rory’s furniture studio a few minutes early to speak with her brother before Nash arrived. Zara had brought Kevin’s favorite homemade doughnuts as a special treat, so while her son was happily munching on his second breakfast, Ashley pulled her brother aside.
“First, thanks for offering to let Nash work in your parking lot. And second…” She paused, trying to find a way to say the next part nicely. “Please don’t be all weird and overbearingly protective.”
“I’d like to make you some guarantees, Ash, but the idea of you hooking up with some rock star?” He scowled. “I can’t say I like it.”
“Too bad, because you don’t get any say in my personal life,” she reminded her brother. “But even though it’s none of your business, you don’t have to worry. We’re not together.”
Her brother narrowed his eyes. “Really? Because word on the street is that the two of you were locking lips at the café a couple of days ago.”
Ugh, sometimes living in a small town was just way too much to handle. “Again,” she said in a stern voice, “my life is my life. So if I want to lock lips with someone, rock star or not, I will.”