Hold on to My Heart (Maine Sullivans)

Ashley was so overcome by her parents’ beautiful toasts that she didn’t notice Nash had picked up a guitar and was standing before them until he spoke.

“Cassie, Flynn asked me to play your favorite song for you as a special wedding gift.”

Though Cassie had been told that Nash would be there as Ashley’s guest, her eyes grew huge as she turned to Flynn. “I can’t believe this. Did you really ask Nash to play ‘Missing Piece’?”

When Flynn grinned and nodded, Cassie kissed him again before turning to Nash to give him her rapt attention as he began to play.

“Missing Piece” was a beautiful song about holding on to hope that your dreams would one day come true, even if the road was bumpy and rough, and it looked like all was lost. It was a song about never letting your dreams go, against all odds. It was a song about how a little love and attention could turn any dream into reality, as long as you kept on believing.

Ashley sank to the nearest chair, her legs no longer able to hold her up. A part of her wanted to flee the garden and all of the emotions that were battering her, but a bigger part couldn’t bear to leave. Not when she felt as though she was suddenly seeing straight through to Nash’s heart.

She’d heard this song a thousand times, but it had never meant so much to her before. Not until now, when she finally understood that Nash had put his deepest longings into these lyrics. His whole life, he’d wished for love that he didn’t believe he was worthy of. But he was worthy. And she would never stop loving him.

When Nash finished the song, Cassie was all smiles. “Thank you, Nash. I absolutely loved it.”

Though he told her how glad he was to hear that, he didn’t put down the guitar. Instead, he turned his gaze to Ashley. “There’s one more song I’d like to play, if that’s okay. A song I just wrote.”

Ashley’s mother replied before anyone else could. “Please,” Beth said, “we’d love to hear your new song.”

Ashley couldn’t move, couldn’t think straight, could barely breathe as Nash gazed at her with his heart in his eyes.

“This one is called ‘Hold On To My Heart.’”

Even before he began to sing, the notes from his guitar tore at Ashley’s heart. They were from the beginning of “Scarborough Fair,” but the song quickly turned into something new.

I swore I’d never trust my heart

And I’d never fall in love

Until you walked through my door

I never knew my heart could be so full

I never knew love could be so true

Until the first time I saw you smile

I always swore I’d keep moving on

And the road was the only home I’d ever need

Until your love became my home

I wish I could undo my mistakes

I wish I could be the man you need

I wish you could hold on to my heart

The way I’ll be holding on to yours

Until the end of time…

By the time Nash came to the end of his song, the hush among Ashley’s family was almost deafening. Her heart was pounding so hard, she was sure that everyone could hear it. And with Nash’s eyes still holding hers, and his heart laid out before her and everyone she loved, on a sob, she ran blindly through the garden.

As she ran through Cassie and Flynn’s forested property, his lyrics played in her head. Words so full of love she’d never be able to forget them, no matter how far away he went.

Gasping for breath, she sank to the ground beneath a copse of birch trees that obscured the sky above her. She didn’t know how much time passed before she felt warm arms come around her. Her mother’s arms.

For a long while, her mother simply held her while Ashley finally cried the tears she’d been desperate to keep inside.

“I love him, Mom.”

“I know you do. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at him. And I can see that he loves you too. We all can.”

Ashley’s heart shattered even more as she said, “But I have to let him go.”

Her mother drew back, wiping away Ashley’s tears with her gentle fingers. “Why do you think you have to do that?”

It was all so obvious to Ashley. Why wasn’t it obvious to her mother? “He’s an amazing man, but he made mistakes. Mistakes that were big enough to land him in prison more than once. Josh threatened me, saying that he’ll fight to take Kevin away from me if I spend any more time with Nash. He said he’ll have me declared an unfit mother.” Before her mom could respond, Ashley added, “I know it would be an almost impossible battle for him to win, but it’s not just Josh. It’s everyone in Bar Harbor and beyond who would talk behind our backs and say things that could affect Kevin. He could get caught in the middle of it all, and the last thing a child going into middle school should have to deal with is stress like that. Life is stressful enough at that age. And a good mother would never willingly put her child in that position.”