“Out of where?” Remi pipes up, his forehead crinkling.
“What?” Father turns to him.
“You said you caught a plane out of there. Where’s there?” His eyes are manic, hands and feet fidgeting.
“Does it matter?” I cut in. It’s irrelevant. Everything feels irrelevant now.
“I don’t know, maybe.” He shrugs, pushing a hand through his hair. “Maybe if he wasn’t always gone, shit like this wouldn’t keep happening.” Agony, raw and fragile, is tangible. He’s an open book. The love he has for her is incomparable and soul-destroying.
Silence. Just the beating of four hearts entwined with tattered thread. “I got here in time,” our father says gruffly.
“This time,” I remind him, ice-cold with warning.
His eyes shoot to mine. “You think I don’t live with that every day of my life? I’m gone a lot because it’s like breathing through fire and ash when I’m in this house. Memories of my betrayal and failure haunt me here.” It’s the most honest, most open he’s ever been, and it shocks Remi into silence. He’s a statue, staring at our father like it’s the first time he’s seeing him.
Clenching his fists, Father closes his eyes, inhaling a shaky breath. But it’s not enough. “Tell us about your betrayal. Tell Remi why he doesn’t have a mother, why he never got to see his sister graduate, won’t see her wed or bear children or become something extraordinary,” I spit out, venom and hatred, grief and pain pouring out of me. A facet turned on eleven years ago and never turned off. I put so much energy into hating Freya, but all along, the man who caused all of this wasn’t her father, he was ours. If he hadn’t been fucking around on our mother, none of this would have happened.
“What’s he talking about?” Remi demands, looking between us both.
“I need to get the operation room ready.” Father attempts to retreat, his voice raspy. I stand at the exit, blocking him.
“Tell your son who it was you were fucking during your marriage, because Mom was just one of them.” My anger manifests, spilling the secrets I’d held on to, decaying me from the inside out.
I recognize the arm twitch, the tightening of muscles. The killer inside our father awakens, determining whether I deserve to remain breathing. With a flick of his wrist, a scalpel on a tray within reach, he could do it with ease. The killer in him is lethal, unparalleled. But it’s the father in him, who lifts his gaze to mine, tears misting them. I’ve never seen this man cry, or falter, or show any sign of consuming sorrow until now.
“One error, one moment of weakness, cost me more than most people will ever have to experience in three lifetimes.” Closing his eyes, his eyelids flicker.
“What are you both talking about? Did you cheat on Mom?” Remi asks, his hand absentmindedly stroking his scar, his foot tapping.
“That man came into our house not because a business deal went wrong, but to seek revenge on our father because he was fucking his wife,” I spill the truth. It leaks into this small room, drowning us all.
“One time,” he roars. “It wasn’t some sordid affair for gratification. I loved her.”
Does that make it okay? What if I was married? Would I have still fallen for Freya? Would I have acted on it?
“What about Mom?” Remi asks, confusion contorting his face.
“Of course I loved her too. There’s so much you don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to us, like why you took Freya. Was it because you loved her mom?” I demand, pacing, almost tripping over Maddox.
“For fuck’s sake,” Remi growls, leaning down and grabbing up Maddox like he’s made of air. Dragging his corpse into the hallway, a brown sludge trail marking the journey, he dumps him.
Breathing, heavy and weighted with a truth I’m not sure we’re ready for, our father looks at our sleeping angel, our warrior who nearly died today. “I took Freya.” He moves closer to her, then raises his gaze to us. “Because she’s mine.”
Remi stumbles, crashing against the counter, knocking a box of medical supplies to the floor. The sound is almost silent in the room built to contain the cries of pain.
My mind spins, uncontrolled. My heart dies inside my chest. How can that be?
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Denial, sickness, sorrow ravishes me. He let us fall in love with her—with our sister? How can you turn that off? Teach yourself to love her in a different way? Death would be easier than this. I’m fucking dying.
“Because it felt like I would be betraying your mother, your sister, all over again.”
“You should have fucking told us.” Remi gulps, his voice raw.
“I thought you’d be pleased, Remi.” He frowns.
Eyes wide, face ashen, Remi looks to Freya. “I’m not going to lie, it’s not a deal-breaker, but it is fucked up. It’s not something I’ll be advertising in the papers. What the fuck?”