Use Me (Caldwell Brothers)

It was one night, wasn’t it?

I stretch to grab the book and find the page is dog-eared between my last entry and a blank page.

Chapter Seven

I overslept.

I overslept, and I overstepped.

I should have never been so weak. I have never been so fucking weak.

What the hell is it about her? Her pink lips, her tears, her determination?

Fuck, I wish I knew.

Christ, she’s beautiful. More beautiful than any woman I have ever seen. I tell myself it’s because I have never seen a woman orgasm before. Never. I have never tasted a woman, and it wasn’t what I expected. Tasteless, actually. But her scent... Her scent nearly made me lose my mind, yet it’s indescribable. I sure as hell will never forget the way she tastes, smells, or the way she wanted me to taste her.

I couldn’t stop kissing her. It has been years... Fucking nearly a decade since I kissed a woman. Hell, I never kissed a woman. I only kissed girls. The last girl I kissed was Elizabeth.

I never slept in anyone’s arms, either. I never slept smelling something as sweet and sexy as her. I don’t even remember holding anyone like I held her. Certainly not all night, and definitely not through an entire night with someone tangled around me. I never even wake up with sheets or blankets on me. I throw them off during the night.

Sleep is the enemy and has been for far too long. My body, my mind; hell, my fucking soul fights the darkness even as I crave it, seek it, and damn sure need it.

When I get to the gym, I am grateful to see Jagger through the window. I stop, bending over with my hands on my knees to catch my breath as I try to figure out what the hell I’m going to say when he asks where I have been. Then I stand up and decide to head inside.

Jagger looks up and smirks. When Tatiana elbows him, he chuckles.

“Leave him alone,” she whispers.

I don’t say anything. What’s there to say? Jagger and I have a business relationship. Tatiana, his woman, is his and I like it that way. They keep to themselves, and I keep to myself. We work, we talk when necessary, and we move on. They don’t push me, and I don’t push them.

I walk around the reception desk and go to the fridge to grab a premade protein shake, then walk the hell away.

An hour later, I’m in the cage with Buck when I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up again. I don’t have to look behind me to know it’s her.

Tatum.

I position myself so my back is to her. Otherwise, I won’t be able to concentrate.

Buck is wound up, and so am I. I let him get a few jabs in because I’m feeling generous. Truth be told, after experiencing her, I’m on top of the world.

I look back to see her bended over, tying her red chucks. Then I see her look up. Her cheeks turn the same shade of pink as her lips.

I look down so she doesn’t see me smirk. Of course, Buck takes that opportunity to nail me.

“Okay, you two, you’ve been up there fucking around long enough,” Jagger says.

“Pussy will make you stupid,” Buck says to me as he steps between the ropes Jagger is holding apart for him.

“Elliptical,” Jagger tells him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snaps back.

“Do I look like I’m fucking kidding?” Jagger points toward the machine, then rolls his eyes when Buck’s back is turned.

When he storms off, Jagger shakes his head. “He could be the best. A true champion on a much greater level than I ever imagined I could be.”

“He’s his own worst enemy.” I nod in agreement as I watch Tatum with the chick group.

“Aren’t we all, man, aren’t we all?” Jagger grips my shoulder and laughs.

I look at him, but unlike every other time he puts his damn hands on me, I don’t say shit.

“I’ll be dammed.” He then chuckles as he walks away.

He noticed, too.

I have an hour between clients, so I decide to go upstairs to avoid embarrassing myself in front of the woman by sporting a raging hard-on in front of the entire Legacy crew and clientele.

I sit in the old recliner in the corner and drink out of the gallon jug of water I have been carrying around to stay hydrated. I look out the dingy window at the old, rundown buildings surrounding this one and take some pride in what we have done to Shaw’s place. I know he would be proud, too. Hell, even my old man would be. I’m not finished yet. I just haven’t allowed myself to go into the other rooms. I will get there when the time is right. The apartment may have a ways to go, but Jagger and I have made the gym top notch.