Use Me (Caldwell Brothers)

“He won’t hurt me,” she says, defending me to them both.

“You don’t think so?” I laugh haughtily.

“All right, big guy, let’s get you out of here.” Jared grabs my elbow, and I rip it away. “Aw, man,” he huffs and grabs my shirt, looking like he knows he’s about to get his ass kicked.

“You got two seconds to get your fucking hands off me,” I warn.

Tatum, fucking Tatum, pushes him and screams, “Don’t!”

“Hendrix,” I growl, “get her home.” Then I step back and walk out the fucking door.

I look back to see Hendrix has his arm around her waist as she tries to get to me.

I point at him. “Don’t fucking hurt her.”

He nods as she yells, “Why not? You certainly are!”

“You and I are done now.” I look directly into her eyes, seeing the pain and feeling it myself, but I know it’s for the best. Then I open the door and look back over my shoulder one last time. “Stay safe, Tatum.”

“Why are you doing this to me? Why?” Her voice shatters me, cutting through me to my soul.

I don’t look back again.

Chapter Twenty - Three

I stand there, feeling numb, and then something unreal happens. I cry.

The man Angelo called Hendrix is holding me up. My feet are raised, and I curl my legs up, hugging them to my body as I cry.

I cry for the loss I knew was inevitable, but never realized it would make me feel this way.

I cry for the attachment I shouldn’t have.

I cry and cry before I finally swallow back the lump in my throat and put my feet back down on the ground. Wiping my eyes, I decide to hold my head up and walk right out of this bar.

“Sweetheart, he got hit too hard with a dumbbell today,” a man says.

“Jared, let her be!” Sally, the bartender, says, going about serving the other customers.

Shame washes over me. I made a complete and utter fool out of myself and Angelo.

Seeming to understand I am settling down, Hendrix releases me and immediately drapes an arm over the pregnant woman beside him. With a quick kiss to her temple, he looks at me. “You want a ride home?”

Home. What a funny word that is. Home is New York. I will be there soon enough. I came to Detroit to feel this piece of Gregory he never really got to connect with. One assignment changed everything.

“I’ll call a cab,” I manage to get out in a strained voice.

“Nah, we’ll get you home,” Hendrix says as the woman beside him smiles. “I’ll grab the keys to the SUV and be right back.” With another quick kiss to the woman’s temple, he heads toward the back.

“Tatum, I’m Livi. I’m Tatiana’s sister-in-law. Kid, he hasn’t had a whole lotta good in his life. He’s not a bad man. But you know that already. You see it.” She smiles softly. “I know it’s hard, but sometimes the best thing we can do is give someone the space they need to accept that they are allowed to have happiness.”

I nod, not knowing what to say.

Hendrix comes back out, and we leave. The ride is silent, and I’m grateful for the reprieve. I don’t know what to say to myself, much less someone else.

Hendrix walks me all the way to the door of my hotel room. I want to tell him I’m from New York, so I know what dangers are out there in the big cities, but I don’t.

Entering my room, I don’t bother changing clothes. I don’t bother taking off my shoes. I simply lie on the bed, curl into myself, and think.

I have one week left of my stay. I could probably cancel it for a fee, but everything is paid for, and though I have money in the bank, I don’t like the idea of wasting it.

The night plays over and over in my mind until exhaustion wins and I fall asleep.

In this tangled mess of emotions, I fell in love with a man who is so broken that I don’t know if he will ever see the good surrounding him.

***

Waking, my eyes are puffy, my head hurts, and I feel the weight of yesterday on my heart. Taking a shower, I fight the urge to check my phone every five seconds, knowing he’s not going to call. He won’t text. No, whatever Angelo and I were building has fallen apart. Now the wall he has built between us is too high to climb.

It’s not his fault. I’m the one who asked him to be my muse. I thought it would be simple. Find some eye candy and allow my mind to create the best fictional man ever. Only, in getting to know my muse, I found the man beneath the body was so much more. The man who pushes his body to the limits all because he is trying to tame the beast inside of him can’t see the beauty he carries as well.