She winced inwardly, knowing how ridiculous that sounded. Apollo shook his head. ‘I wanted you, not your sister. I think we’ve established that pretty comprehensively.’
A wave of heat, uncontrollable, moved up inside Sophy’s body. She clamped down on her response, terrified he’d see the effect of his words. His gaze was too direct, too incisive. She felt as if she was being sliced open and all her vulnerabilities and frailties being laid bare for inspection.
She put her arms around herself and walked over to the window again, staring out unseeingly. Maybe if she didn’t look at him as she tried to explain, it would be easier?
‘The truth is that I felt out of my depth with you. Really out of my depth. You were suave and cultured. Way out of my league. Sasha was more experienced than me—’
Apollo cut in, ‘You mean she wasn’t a virgin? Unlike you.’
Sophy’s face burned at that reminder. Her arms were so tight around herself now she was in danger of cutting off her air supply. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’
‘Well, I did.’
Yes, he had.
And Sophy could now remember his reaction in full glorious Technicolor. She remembered being so caught up in the moment that when he’d thrust into her and it had hurt, she’d tensed all over.
He’d looked down at her. ‘Sasha? Are you—?’
Terrified he’d stop, she’d put her hands on his buttocks and said, ‘Please, don’t stop.’
For a torturous moment he hadn’t moved. She’d felt impaled, stunned at the feeling of being so invaded, but then he’d started to move and the pressure and pain had eased.
What had followed had been nothing short of life-changing. Earth-shattering. She’d still been lying in a sated stupor when she’d felt him leave the bed and heard the shower come on in his bathroom.
A few minutes later, he’d emerged with a towel around his lean hips, his face rigid with anger.
‘What the hell? You were a virgin.’
Sophy had reached for the sheet to cover herself, suddenly feeling very small and exposed. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’
He’d emitted a curt, unamused laugh. ‘Notice? How could I not? Why didn’t you tell me?’
He’d spoken before she could formulate a response. ‘I seduced you because I thought you were experienced...that you knew.’
‘Knew what?’
He’d run a hand through his damp hair, muscles rippling, making Sophy’s tender inner muscles clench again in reaction.
‘Knew how these things go. Knew not to expect anything more.’
‘More than what?’ She’d known she’d sounded like a parrot but had been unable to stop herself.
‘More than one night.’ He’d folded his arms. ‘I don’t sleep with virgins, Sasha. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have touched you.’
The thought that she might not have made love with this man had been a physical pain. ‘But...why?’
A scarily blank expression had come over his face. He was like a statue. ‘Because virgins are innocent and have expectations. The kind of expectations I can’t, and don’t want to, meet.’
‘What do you mean?’
He’d emitted something that had sounded like a curse and his green eyes had narrowed on her face. ‘Can you deny that you’d thought this was something more? That this wasn’t just about sex?’
Mortified heat had flooded up her body and into her face. She had thought there was something between them. Romantic. Unique.
He’d seen it instantly. ‘That’s what I’m talking about. An expectation of something more. I don’t do relationships, Sasha. I have no desire for a girlfriend. I have short-term relationships with women who know better than to attach emotion to the proceedings. This is just sex for me.’
She’d winced at that.