Lazaro started to pace, taking his hands out of his pockets, running one through his hair, messing it up.
He stopped and faced her. ‘Everything. Me. I went to see Gabriel Torres. I left him a sample of my DNA and told him he could do a test if he was interested in finding out if we’re related. But even if he doesn’t, and even if I never know for sure, it doesn’t really matter. Just like the bid for the market doesn’t matter either. I told him I was pulling out.’
‘But I loved your bid,’ Skye said in dismay.
Lazaro shook his head. ‘Gabriel was right. It was more about my feud with him than anything else. And you were right too. The only reason I didn’t use your logo was because I had to push you back somehow...’
He looked at her.
‘I was too harsh on you about my mother. It was just so shocking to me...to see you go after her like that. I’ve only ever seen her a few times in my life. We’ve never spoken. My feelings about her are...complicated. I’m so angry at her, and yet whenever I see her I see some vulnerability. I feel a need to protect her for some bizarre reason. Which makes me feel more angry. No one has ever stood up for me before, Skye. I’ve been on my own for ever. I didn’t know how to respond... I felt exposed.’
Skye felt the tiny flame of hope she’d quenched upon leaving Spain bursting back to life. She told him what his mother had said—about hers being a cruel world and that she was happy he had Skye.
Her face was hot. ‘I think she assumed there was more to our relationship. But, more importantly, I think she was saying that perhaps things weren’t so black and white—that maybe she had a reason for giving you up. Maybe she didn’t have a choice.’
Lazaro’s face tightened. ‘Perhaps. But I’m not here to talk about her now.’ He pulled a chair over to sit opposite Skye. ‘She was right about one thing, though...’
‘What...?’
‘I never expected to meet someone like you, Skye. You’re a free spirit. You’re not the kind of woman I thought I needed in my life. And yet... I don’t want anyone else in my life.’
Skye looked at him, trying to read his expression, his eyes. He’d bought the house. He was clearly prepared to compromise—to give their life together a go. But she had to protect herself.
‘You might be willing to compromise, but I don’t know if I am.’
Lazaro frowned. ‘What does that mean?’
Skye stood up. She couldn’t think straight so close to him. She walked over to the window, which looked out over Dublin’s leafy St Stephen’s Green. A far smaller version of that park in Madrid, but equally charming.
She battled to keep the emotion she was feeling out of her voice. ‘I spent my life with someone who didn’t love me enough to put me first. My mother dragged me from pillar to post in her endless quest for peace, or whatever it was she was looking for.’
She turned around to face Lazaro, who had stood up. The shadows in the room made him look taller, darker.
‘I don’t want to come second again. I want to be someone’s first choice. I want more than compromise. I deserve more. And maybe some day I’ll find it. But that’s not what you’re offering, Lazaro. I know we have this amazing chemistry, but that won’t last...will it?’
She hated the hopeful note in her voice and hurried on.
‘And when it’s gone I think whatever we have won’t be strong enough to sustain a relationship. I thought that the most important things to me were setting down roots, stability and security. And they are. But I want more than that. I want a life that’s rooted. Not just an existence. I want a family.’
Lazaro moved over to where Skye stood.
She put out her hands. ‘Please...don’t touch me. I can’t think when you do, and you make me forget everything—’
He took her hands in his and laced his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, her eyes roving over his face. Over the perfect symmetry that she knew could distract people from the much deeper and more complex man.
‘I forgot to tell you the most important thing,’ he said.
‘What’s that?’
He tugged her towards him. She came reluctantly.
He smiled. ‘That I love you, Skye Blossom O’Hara Sanchez. I love you so much it scares the life out of me. I realised how much I loved you when I saw you take on my mother, but I was in too much shock to take it in. And too threatened and terrified. I had my whole life planned out before I laid eyes on you, and as soon as I did it all went out through the window. I only realised how lonely I was when you came into my life, and yet the more I came to depend on you, the further I pushed you away. It felt like a weakness...wanting you, needing you.’
Skye was afraid to believe everything Lazaro was saying. If he was just saying this to get her to come back...
‘How can you be so sure...? How do you know it’s not just physical...or the thought of the baby...?’
‘Did you not hear what I said? Falling for you has been the most terrifying and threatening thing I’ve ever experienced. We’re not so dissimilar, you and I. I haven’t trusted anyone in...ever. I’ve never let anyone get close. Until you.’