BZRK: Apocalypse (BZRK 3)

“What is that, some kind of magic trick?”

“It’s the best I can do on short notice,” Plath snapped. “If you like, I could blind you, or start sticking pins in your brain and giving you some amazing hallucinations.”

“I’ll read a book,” Tanner said. Ten minutes later he was shaken and convinced.

“What do you want from us?” Washington asked. He was still skeptical, still not sure it wasn’t some sort of trick, but he also knew that in matters of security, Tanner was the real boss.

“Fuel,” Plath said. “And men with guns, if you have any.”

“Men, I have. Guns? I could spare a couple of handguns and a hunting rifle. But Mr. Tanner here may have other means.”

Tanner shifted uncomfortably, then made a decision. “Okay. Cards on the table. We’ve been looking at Cathexis for some time now in relation to a souped-up hovercraft they seem to have built. An armed hovercraft. I sent a person with some military background in to check it out. I have not heard back from her.”

Vincent spoke for the first time. “You’re intelligence.”

Tanner gave a short nod.

“Then you have people you could call.”

Tanner snorted. “Are you kidding me? With what’s happening back in the world? Shit has hit the fan. Cities are burning, people are scared to death, my chain of command …” He threw up his hands.

“If we can prove to you that this woman is doing what we say she’s doing, if we can prove to you that we can stop her, will you do all you can?” Plath asked.

Tanner thought about that for a moment and glanced at Washington, who raised his hands—palms out—in a gesture that said, It’s on you. “Yeah,” Tanner said. “You prove all that, and I will do all I can to bring down the wrath of God.” Then, under his breath he added, “But it won’t work.”

Surreal, that was the word Bug Man had been searching for. Surreal.

He was in Antarctica, in a dry valley way below the ice, in a house, in a very expensively furnished living room, looking out of expansive windows onto a domed swimming pool, while a lunatic and mass murderer suggested he could replace the teeth she herself had broken with fangs. Green fangs.

“It would give you an original look,” Lear said. “Do you know how to cook at all? My cook is busy, yeah, helping to inventory supplies. Can you fry some eggs?”

A television was on in the kitchen where Bug Man rummaged in a vast refrigerator for eggs and bacon. That much he could do. Eggs and bacon.

The television showed the BBC, but it wasn’t any of the sets he’d ever seen them use. It looked a bit as if the male and female announcers were broadcasting from a concrete bomb shelter.

The crawl at the bottom of the screen was full of warnings from the army that people should stay in their homes and off the streets. That and statements from Number 10 and acting prime minister Dermot Tricklebank, whoever that was, to the effect that the only thing they had to fear was fear itself.

“Hunh,” Lear commented. “That’s a Roosevelt quote. Shouldn’t they be using Churchill?”

The stovetop was a restaurant-quality thing with massive knobs and too many burners. It took Bug Man a few anxious minutes to figure out how to work the knobs, but eventually he was able to lay six strips of bacon on a grill.

“Crispy,” Lear said, pointing at the bacon.

The announcer said, “The nuclear exchange between India and Pakistan has escalated, with at least five major Indian cities now essentially vaporized.”

“Hah,” Lear said. “And don’t forget the eggs. Not too runny.”

“Okay.”

“Winds are whipping the fire now spreading out of control through Bayswater and Notting Hill. Our reporters have seen no evidence of effective emergency response.”

“It’s hard to tell when an egg is done, yeah, but … Oh, look look look! He’s setting himself on fire!”

Bug Man did not want to see that and instead focused on his work.

“Looked like a banker. Nice suit. It’s interesting that a person can be mad and yet plan ahead well enough to find gas. Or petrol, as you would say.”

Yes, Bug Man thought grimly, who would have thought a crazy person could plan? He turned the bacon and held down the curling tips.