“And why exactly am I digging up a dead guy?”
“Because when this disk is centered in the outer disk, you will have many of the great Vargran words of power. The Vargran you must have to defeat the Pale Queen!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t track on anything after the part about digging up a dead guy,” Mack said.
“I got it,” Dietmar said.
“Yeah, well, so did I,” Jarrah snapped.
“I, too, got it,” Xiao said.
“Huh?” Stefan said.
“Here’s what I get: probably we shouldn’t all stay in the bathroom for much longer,” Mack said. “Thor will get suspicious.”
“Thor is an idiot,” Nott said. “But Fenrir will come to investigate. We must hurry. If we can reach the observatory, you may escape with your lives. The observatory is where All-Father Odin watches what happens in the world of humans. Mostly sports. Football, and the Olympics. It is why we keep the back door to the Externsteine in existence: Odin is a big supporter of Arminia Bielefeld and likes to attend actual matches in disguise.”
In response to Mack’s quizzical look, Dietmar said, “It is the local football team. Soccer to you.”
“Why would Thor sell us out? He seemed like a nice guy,” Mack protested.
That actually brought a laugh from Nott. And she didn’t strike any of them as a giggly person.
“Thor? A nice guy?” Nott said. “And no doubt Odin seemed like a weary old man. But listen, young fool: in the olden days of yore, the Vikings used to raid in their longships. They would arrive at first light, taking a small town by surprise and catching people in their beds. They would seem like demons to the townsfolk. Every atrocity you can possibly imagine would take place. And always the cries of ‘Wotan’ and ‘Thor’ were on the lips of the berserkers.”
“Berserkers?” Stefan asked. He liked the sound of that.
“The berserker state,” Nott said distastefully. “It is a madness that seizes warriors, a madness sent by All-Father Odin. A madness so wild, so fierce, so fearless, so enraged that no foe could stand against them, and even their friends kept away lest they be slaughtered in the heat of it.”
“Huh,” Stefan said. “Cool.”
“But why would he sell us out?” Mack demanded.
“Have you not noticed the shabbiness and decay that is Asgard?” Nott asked. “We are forgotten by those who once worshipped us. Our economy is in shambles. Once men sacrificed to us: food, weapons, gold. Now we are reduced to selling the tapestries and furnishings at the Gammel Strand flea market in Copenhagen.”
“So you’re getting paid to give us up?” Jarrah asked.
“The Pale Queen is very rich,” Nott explained. “She never relied on sacrifices for income. Instead she pillaged and then invested wisely. She invested in cell phone carriers, airlines, and health insurers—anything evil. And of course she owns several banks. Whereas we . . . well, All-Father Odin was never a wise steward. So our gold was spent on beer and sausages, and our antiques were sold. All we have left now is our minority share of Lego.” Nott sighed. “We’re reduced to shopping the sales at the Aldi.”
“A discount chain,” Dietmar explained.
“Ah. Like Costco.” Mack nodded.
Mack opened the door a crack and peeked out into the hallway. “I think it’s clear.”
“Then let us go,” Nott said.
“So long as it’s not on anyone’s head,” Xiao said.
Stefan laughed and offered her a high five, which Xiao stared at blankly.
Nott led the way out of the bathroom. She glided. The rest of them trotted as quietly as they could.
Mack saw a blue-green glow ahead. The observatory. Although what exactly that meant was a mystery to him.
“I guess it was cooler for you gods in the old days,” Mack said in a low voice, searching for something polite to say to smooth over the argument between Xiao and Nott.
“Yes,” the booming voice of Thor said. “It was cooler in the old days.”