Night of the Zandians (Zandian Brides 1)

I bite my lip and look away, unable to meet his eyes. There is a subtle tension in our dome now, and I can’t tell if it’s all caused by me and my worries about being the only first homestead human not to be pregnant or not. But my mates must have it on their mind; everyone talks constantly about who’s expecting young, and when, and by whom. It’s exhausting to keep smiling when I want to scream and toss myself onto the ground and weep with despair at the whole thing.

How did I possibly think I could do this? A wave of nausea hits me, and I put my hand to my mouth.

“You’re pale,” Tarren says, touching my cheek. “Are you eating enough?” I see him dart a quick glance down at my flat belly, and then back up to my eyes, as if he didn’t want me to see him looking.

“I’m eating fine. All the right nutrients for… that are recommended,” I stumble, not wanting to bring it up. I’m eating the right diet to prepare for pregnancy. One that cannot happen, though.

“Are you concerned about… not…” He touches my stomach, spreads out his fingers. The warmth makes me catch my breath, and I feel the usual surge of arousal, but the topic makes me unhappy.

“No,” I snap, and try to soften it by touching his face, tracing his scar. “You will be an amazing father someday, Tarren, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” It won’t be with me, but it will happen. To my horror, tears well up in my eyes and I blink. “I’m just preoccupied with a class I’m putting together on stem grafts and propagation for the other dome humans,” I lie.

Tarren sighs. “You know you can trust me—all of us.”

“I do know that.” I lean into his arms.

“Then please trust me with what is troubling you.”

“I told you already. Just the classes, and some things I want to accomplish in my lab.”

“Is there something we’re not providing for you?” He looks into my eyes. “You are unhappy, Riya, I can see it. Are we not giving you what you need?” He pauses. “To be successful as a bonded team for the future, we need to be honest with each other. It’s what honorable beings do.”

Right. Because Zandians don’t lie. How will they feel about all my deceptions, then? Every day I dig myself deeper and deeper.

To my shock, I see uncertainty in his gaze. How is it possible that this strong, fierce Zandian, who has protected and served his planet with honor, defeated a thousand enemy warriors, can feel less than confident?

I don’t have it in me to give him any further lies, so I turn away. “Everything is fine,” I tell him, my voice low. “I just want to be alone to think about my projects.”

He is silent, and then he touches my arm once and walks away, leaving me to the sunset. Now I let the tears fall, and the colors refract like a thousand shards of glass through the droplets, as the sun hovers and then sinks fast over the edge of the world.

11

Jax

You want what?” But King Zander turns aside and holds up a hand for me to wait. He is down at the loading dock, giving orders. “Did you optimize the genetics for the next teams?” He’s speaking to Dr. Daneth via holo-chat. “This round will be more sensitive, because although we wish to have mates set up for ideal genetic matches, we don’t want to force humans or Zandians into life-long situations they despise.” He runs a hand across his mouth.

I step away because I’m sure I’m not supposed to overhear this sensitive information.

After some short discussion with the doctor, he closes the holo and turns to me. “Jax.”

“My lord.” I bow.

“How is your repopulation effort going?” He raises one eyebrow, and not for the first time, I get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach at the question. At first, it was a fun thing to discuss, the idea of young. Now, I force myself not to snarl.

I shake my head. “No news yet, but I’m sure it will happen soon.” I force a smile. “There is no lack of… coupling, in our dome.” We’re insatiable, all of us. I cannot even count the times.

But something makes me blurt, “King Zander… weren’t you going to send us Riya’s slave records? So we’d have her history?”

She doesn’t wish to talk about her past, and we never force her—I don’t wish to trigger her past memories. But I feel that if we learned more about her, we could be better mates to her.

I can’t describe the feeling I get from Riya lately. We’re all wound up, eager to work hard, anticipation and anxiety filling our chests by turn, but there’s something about her that seems melancholy. When she stares out a window, her hand propped on her chin, seeing something a million miles distant inside her mind. I think there is something she needs from us that we are not providing. Is she unhappy with us? Are we not enough for her? When I ask her if anything is wrong, she is quick to say no and distract me with a comment or a kiss. Maybe the documentation holds a clue.

“Oh, did the data never get sent?” Zander turns and voice commands another holo to open. “I’ll have them bring it now and pack it with your things. I fear my assistant was busy with settlement planning.”

“It’s not a rush,” I say, and flex my fingers, although if I had it my way, he’d go fetch it immediately.

Zander’s mouth quirks into a small smile, as if he can read my mind. “Everything is a rush,” he corrects. “But some things need more of a rush than others.” He hands me a box. “Here are more heirloom Earth seeds for Riya. These arrived last planet rotation—rare ones I obtained from Midraxx. Lamira’s already growing starts in the palace. Riya can consult with her if she needs to, but I imagine she’ll know what to do with them.”

Pride at my mate swells in my chest, as if I have anything to do with her concoctions. “Before you arrived, Dr. Daneth was raving, as much as he does, about her salicylic acid preparation. He says it’s the most novel thing he’s seen in years. He offered her this.”