I scowl at her and try to whisper, “Not now,” but she doesn’t seem to get it.
“A jerk?” Mirelle considers this. “Well, he’s definitely tough and gruff. But he’s fair. He’s an amazing navigator.”
All three look at me.
“Definitely not a jerk. I didn’t mean to say anything bad about him. We have a little… um, tension between us. That’s all.” I want to trust them, but I’m worried they’ll judge me.
“Tension, hmm?” Abbi leans in. “Why are you so pink?”
Mirelle whistles. “Oh, Zina. Are you and Tarek… did you do something together?” She moves her hands in a specific way that makes me flush harder. “Holy Zandian star, I never thought Tarek would take interest in a female.”
“No!” My voice is loud. I glance around and speak softly. “Why would you say that? I’d have to be some kind of awful being to do… that… right away with a Zandian. Without being mated. Right?” To my horror, my tone is plaintive, like I need some kind of affirmation. And it’s obvious that I did do more than “something” with the handsome, powerful navigator.
“Not at all!” Mirelle pats my hand. “It’s the Zandians. They’re just so attractive.” She grins at me. “My two mates are insatiable. Of course, so am I,” she adds and laughs. “Maybe why we get along so well.”
Abbi smiles. “If you’re attracted to Zandians, that’s a good thing.”
My words tumble out. “We made love and it was amazing, but then afterward he couldn’t get away fast enough. I guess he thinks he can never mate or have children because of his condition.” I can hear the hurt and pain in my voice.
Abbi’s smile fades.
Mirelle says, “Ohhhh. That’s hard. Yes, Tarek has said more than once that he’s a lifelong bachelor. He may not even be approved to mate—everything goes through the king on Zandia. So… yeah. It’s probably best not to get too attached.”
“Yes.” I nod, trying to staunch the horror flooding through me. Tarek may not be allowed to mate. It hadn’t occurred to me. “It’s just… we have a bond, you know?” I look at them, as if my gaze can convince not just them, but in fact all of Zandia and perhaps Tarek (from a distance) that it’s irrefutably true.
“Maybe it’s just your hormones waking up,” suggests Mirelle. “Getting you in the swing of things. Listen, there are plenty of males here who are willing and eager to find a mate.”
I put up a hand. “Not so fast. I can’t. Yet.” I push away my plate, actively nauseated now. “I’m sterile. I don’t know if it can be reversed. So, I’m not available myself.”
“Sterile, hmm?” Cambry looks particularly interested. “If so, then you’re fair game for a human male.”
“Like your brother?” Mirelle bumps shoulders with the other female warrior.
Cambry shrugs. “I’d love for him to settle down with a mate. It seems unfair that all the human females of breeding age are reserved for Zandians.”
“There just aren’t enough of us to go around,” Mirelle says. “But if word gets out in the galaxy that Zandia is a safe haven for humans, this planet will be overflowing with our species.”
“I think that’s what King Zander wants to avoid,” Cambry says. “That and starting a war with Ocretions who think they own every human in the galaxy since they’re the ones who harvested Earth.”
Abbi gives me a side hug. “Zina may not be permanently sterile. She’s seeing a doctor. He might be able to reverse the sterility. And you know… stranger things have happened. Living here, less stress, bodies have a way of healing. It’s happened to others, so I know it’s a possibility.” She smiles.
I cling to her words. “That would be great. Having a baby of my own would be a dream come true for me.”
And maybe I’m nuts, but Tarek’s the only male I can imagine having that baby with.
Even though he’s Mr. Hot-and-Cold.
Zina
I’m walking back from a visit to Kara and her son when I see him. My whole body tingles.
“Tarek.” My breath quickens. “Hi.”
“Zina.” For a split second his face lights up, then his expression snaps closed. He hoists his satchel on his shoulder.
Before I get a chance to say anything, we’re joined by his captain. “Tarek, a word?”
I step away and nod, showing my respect for his command and need for privacy.