“What—”
“I’ll tell you what.” My voice trembles with indignation. “You lied to me, Drayk.”
My eyes well up as I stare at him, willing it to be a mistake. A misunderstanding.
But his glance slides away, and in that second, I know it’s true. He knows what I’m angry about, and he knows it’s bad. Worse than bad.
“About my probation.” I put the words out there and they sit between us, a mountain, dividing us. All the tenderness from last night was a lie, clearly, built on this unstable foundation.
He clears his throat. “Well, I can explain what I was…” He breaks off. “It’s complicated.” His voice rises. “I had the responsibility to—”
“To treat me fairly.” My voice rises more than his until I’m practically shouting. “To tell me and King Zander honestly whether or not I was fit for this planet. And all along”—I suck in a breath of air—“you were leading me on? Just, what? Enjoying my body while you toyed with my emotions?”
“No!” He bellows it, then tempers his tone. “It was not like that, believe me, Taisha. At first I, yes, I wasn’t sure you were trustworthy. But over time, as I got to know you, it was”—he swallows—“it was evident that—”
“Was it some great joke?” My voice is breaking now and I barely get the words out. “Were you laughing at me with your friends, at how gullible I was? Watching me bend over backwards to prove my worth and still not allowing me access to”—I wave my hand—“peace of mind? After all I’d been through? How could you?”
His expression turns tortured. “It was a mistake. I didn’t realize how difficult the waiting was for you, emotionally. Not at first. It’s only recently that I understand how human emotions work. And”—his jaw clenches—“my own.”
“Your emotions?” I shake my head, rubbing moisture from my eyes.
“Because of you—” he starts, a hitch in his voice.
“Because of you,” I retort, not allowing him to finish, “I had to wait extra time, worrying about whether or not I would qualify for life here.” I stare at him accusingly. “Even after what I did on Fonquin. And with the serum. And with Marshan. Even after all of that, you let me go on thinking it wasn’t yet enough. Because of you, I allowed myself to think things… do things…” I shake my head, unable to even put my thoughts into words. What comes out next surprises even me. “I hate you.”
There is silence. Drayk’s expression is stunned.
I can’t bear my mixture of emotions. I turn to Lamira. “Is there somewhere else I can live?” My voice trembles. “Until I earn my own keep—a place I can stay?”
She nods, face somber. “Yes. There is a dorm building for unmated humans, and it’s quite comfortable. Of course we can find you a chamber there. But please, if you give Drayk a chance to explain—”
I shake my head. “He’s had three lunar cycles to explain. Time’s run out.”
I glare at Drake. “Please leave. I don’t want to see your face ever again. Or hear your lying voice.” I turn to Lamira. “He’s not worth my time. I respectfully request asylum, my queen.”
Drayk makes a sound, but then turns on his heel and leaves without another word.
Lamira puts her arms around me to soothe, patting my back, but after my explosive jag of crying, my eyes are now dry. It’s my heart inside that has cracked open, spilling out all of my hopes and emotions.
Chapter 19
Drayk
I don’t know how I make it back to my domicile. I see nothing on the way. I don’t even recall the trip. But the moment I press my palm on the door sensor and enter, my world splinters into a million pieces.
My place feels so empty. So wrong.
Taisha’s gone.
I knew this planet rotation would come, and yet I’m wholly unprepared for it.
This is what you wanted, I tell myself. How you planned it.
And it’s partly true. I intended to give her up after the three lunar cycles were over. I knew I could never mate her.
And yet I never meant to hurt her.
And stars, I have.