Kept by the Zandian (Zandian Brides 5)

The panic on his face after the explosion. The way he held me tight to his chest. Made love to me.

But no—I can’t keep hoping he’ll change his mind and mate me. He had his chance.

He blew it.

It’s over now.

I’ll go on. Somehow, I’ll move on without him.

It’s definitely for the best.

Chapter 20

Taisha

Three planet rotations and I still don’t feel like leaving the dormitory.

I’m finally free, on a planet where humans are valued, and where my life has meaning. I’m no longer a slave, not to any being. I should be full of gratitude and plans for the future.

Why do I feel so empty?

I stare out my window of the dorm, not seeing the lush yellow trees swaying in the breeze, because all I see is his face.

Drayk.

And how it fell apart when I said I hated him.

My stomach recoils and I wince. Truth be told, I don’t hate him. After all this, I believe Leylah was wrong. Loving another being doesn’t make you a slave—it sets you free. The way I felt with Drayk—the closeness we shared—those were the best moments of my life.

Oh, I hate what he did. How he let me think for all that time that I was still under evaluation. I hate that things weren’t simple.

But my heart won’t stop caring for him, despite his actions.

Mirelle shows up at my door to try to coax me out, but I’m still not ready. She drapes a shawl over my shoulders. “You should eat.” She has a container of fruit in her hand. She’s helped me settle into the dorm, bringing me some things from her own domicile to make it cheerier.

But I’m anything but happy.

I shake my head. “I’m not hungry. The idea of food makes me ill.”

She nods and places the box on a low table. “How can I help, then?”

“You can’t.” I rethink it. “You already are, just by caring. By being here with me. I am grateful for your friendship.”

She smiles briefly but then sighs. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.” The words ring hollow, but underneath it is a truth. I will, in essence, be safe. I’m here on Zandia, after all, a free human, allowed to live and mate.

Too bad the only Zandian I care about betrayed me and pushed me to say such cruel things. If only there were a way to let him know I overreacted. That I didn’t mean those things. That I still do care.

But he walked away. He left me. The relationship is beyond saving.

So—fine I may be, but I have no joy. Not now. Maybe not ever.

“Maybe I was too hard on him.” I whisper the words that have troubled me from the second they burst forth from my lips. “I never even gave him a chance.”

“You were hurt. Angry.”

“Yes. Very.” I nod, vehemently. Then my voice cracks. “But I miss him so much. I do