Beautifully Broken (Reckless Bastards MC 1)

“My calls and visits too,” I grumbled. The only topic I wanted to discuss less than Jana was Tate. “I don’t know what’s going on with him but as long as he’s not talking to me, I can’t do shit about it.”

“Call his lawyer, find out what’s going on.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” I didn’t have the energy to deal with anything right now. I just wanted to sit in front of my big ass flat screen and drink until I passed out. But it looked like I would spend the next twelve hours on the road.

At least I’d be too focused to think about the curvy blond who wouldn’t let me have one thought that didn’t include her.

Chapter 8

Jana

“I’m not upset with him, Teddy. I’m more upset with myself.” I stabbed at the shrimp scampi I’d made and was no longer in the mood to eat.

She dropped her fork and flicked long red tendrils behind her before she rested her elbows on the table. “Bullshit. You should be upset with him, he was an asshole! You tried to help him and he bit your head off, that’s on him.”

I agreed, mostly. “But I shouldn’t have been so hurt by it. T

hat was an amateur mistake on my part when I knew what it was. I was too relaxed and I let myself forget what it was.” Which was just one night.

“At the risk of sounding like a cracked CD, bullshit. Your feelings are valid dammit. Maybe you weren’t expecting hearts and flowers and shit, but you were expecting common fucking decency!”

I let out a long, surprised breath. “Okay. You’re right. I did expect him to act like a human at least until I locked the door behind him. But that didn’t happen so none of that matters.” I had almost a full week to get used to it and yes, it did still hurt. But I would survive. Dwelling on it now wouldn’t change the past, which meant it needed to stay buried.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t feel anything about it.”

“I know and I have. But you know what, Teddy? I got up yesterday and looked myself in the mirror and reminded myself that as much this hurt right now, I’ve been through and survived worse.”

“Well, shit. What can I say in response to that?”

“Nothing, Teddy. I’m done talking about it. Tell me about your celebrity wedding.” It was a jerk move when she was only trying to help but I didn’t need to keep rehashing the best night of my life followed by one of the most humiliating mornings. I was there. I still feel it. Talking about it wouldn’t change anything, but listening to her talk about work would be less stressful for both of us than watching her stress about my feelings.

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it. It takes place next weekend and then I can wash my hands of that woman forever. Makes me wish I’d charged more.”

“Have you considered offering packages? Say one of those high rollers decides to marry his good luck charm but they want it done right. For let’s say fifteen grand you’ll whip it up in twelve hours, complete with mini bites and champagne.” I was desperate, sue me.

“Maybe. I have too much business right now to consider anything else. How about you, how’s work?”

“It’s work. Steady as ever. I’m picking up a new client, a green collective.” I didn’t care what it was, they were new business owners and their books were atrocious which meant a lot of long hours creating and staring at spreadsheets. It was just what I needed right now. “Want to come to class with me tonight?”

“Afraid you’ll run into Hot Rod?”

“No. Okay, yes. Maybe a little.”

“No, I have a party to attend. I got an invite to this MTV party filming in that new nightclub in the Wynn so I’m going to network. Or whatever.” She rolled her eyes and stood, taking her plate to the sink. “Thanks for feeding me though babe. You always have the best food. I think you missed your calling in the kitchen.”

“I wanted to be a chef, actually.”

She froze in the middle of the kitchen and turned to me, looking more shocked than I’d ever seen the unflappable Theodora Quinton. “Really? How did I not know this?”

“Because I don’t talk about it. Ever. I went and cooked for an executive chef in Chicago because he was Michelin rated and I hadn’t yet realized what a hindrance my scar would be. I was already there for school so that was also a factor. Anyway, I cooked and he loved it, then offered me a job as a dishwasher. I took it, thinking I had to work my way up like everyone else. Then one day he told me the truth. I was a talented chef and I could go far, but not if I scared the customers.”

“That motherfucker!”

“Thanks. That was my sentiment too, at first. But Franco didn’t say anything that wasn’t true and I knew that, but I was young. I cooked a great meal and went out to get my praise. They were polite but they were horrified. Disgusted and uncomfortable. I thanked him for his honesty, finished my shift and changed my major to accounting.” No one gave a shit what you looked like if you kept their finances in order.

“I swear Jana, I want to just firebomb the people in your past.”

I had to smile at Teddy’s vehemence. “Thanks, but it wouldn’t do any good.”