She froze but nodded, deciding once again not to argue. “How bad is it?”
“Pretty fucking bad. We just found out some shit and once it gets out, no one who means anything to us will be safe.” We both silently chose to ignore the importance of that comment. For now.
“What’s wrong, Cross?”
/> I cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes, so light green they were almost eerie. “I thought I failed you too when I stood in here earlier.”
Moon’s soft hands went to my face, tilting me down until I looked her right in those bossy green eyes. “You didn’t fail anyone. Don’t even think that, Cross, especially not now. You need all the confidence you can muster for this fight and I can’t be the only one of us who believes in you. But,” she raised up on her toes and pressed soft pink lips against mine. It was soft and too damn short. “If you want, when this is all over, I’ll tell you what a dick you were. Okay?”
A laugh bubbled out of me but I couldn’t respond because her belief in me was humbling. Empowering. This time I held Moon close and kissed her for so long I lost track of time and place, and what we both should’ve been doing. The taste of her, the scent of her and the way she submitted to my kiss, had me drunk with power.
Eventually I pulled back with a reluctant grin. “I’m holding you to that.” After another kiss that was too damn short, we both sprang into action.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Moon
“Why are we staying here Mom? Is something wrong with our house?” Thankfully Beau had fallen asleep about a mile away from Dr. Mankowski’s office and hadn’t seen the damage to our home. After that, he’d slept soundly in Cross’s arms when we left for the clubhouse. And since the parenting gods had been shining down on me, he’d waited two whole days to ask the obvious question.
I didn’t have a good answer, at least not one that satisfied me as I looked around the barren room that had no personal touches. But Cross seemed legitimately worried about our safety, and I took that very seriously.
“Not exactly, no.”
He frowned and stopped his careful browsing, turning towards me.
“Are bad men after us?”
I pulled my boy closer and hugged him tight, letting him know that he was loved and safe. “Sometimes when adults want to hurt each other, they go after people who are close to them, like friends and family.”
“Why?”
He was so inquisitive it always amazed me. “Well I imagine they think it will hurt more.” I shouldn’t even be having this conversation with someone Beau’s age but the more he understood about what was happening, the calmer he would be later.
“Don’t worry, Mom. Cross will keep us safe.” Beau was so full of confidence in a man he didn’t know that well that I almost believed him. I hoped Cross could keep us safe and I believed he would. But there was a niggling doubt, and I’d feel a lot better if I knew who the big bad was. “We should decorate this room for Cross!”
Once again he was right. Looking around Cross’s room, it was bare, not one photo in sight. Not even of his wife. His parents. Other than deodorant and cologne and a few outfits that hung in the closet, the room was austere and all but empty. Beau and I had brought more stuff than was already in here.
“That’s a good idea but let’s not go crazy, maybe start with a couple drawings.”
“Okay. Jana has art supplies in front, can I go draw with her?” I gave a quick nod and his feet took off. He yanked the door open and ran smack into his second favorite person in the world.
“Hi Cross! I’m going to make some drawings for your room. Bye!”
Cross chuckled at his energy, stepping inside the room and filling it instantly. “To have that kind of energy right now.”
“Or anytime,” I agreed with a smile. And then something stopped me in my tracks. Beau’s energy level. He’d been running around these last few days like a normal kid. No wheezing. No coughing. Could it be true? The stem cell treatments had started to work? A brush of hopefulness and gratitude rushed through me but before I could indulge it, Cross was asking for my attention.
“Are you guys okay here?” he asked.
“Yeah. Better safe than sorry regardless if we want to be here, or if we’re important to the club, right?” The words came out harsher than I expected, and it was stupid to wish for a different answer, but for now, I decided I wouldn’t deny my feelings for him, at least not to myself.
He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. For a second, I thought I saw disappointment flash across his handsome face, but then I remembered, he was still in love with someone else.
“I know none of this is personal, Cross, we’ll be fine.”
“Thanks for that thing with Ripcord,” he said. “It was stupid as hell but also brave and very helpful.”
Brave and helpful? Just what every woman wanted to hear, right? I crossed my arms and stared at him for a long time, wishing I’d never gotten involved with him while mentally calculating what I could do to have more time with him. “Thank you, I guess.”