And I began to knit.
It wasn’t much, just a cotton rainbow thread that would become a baby beanie, but it was more than enough to keep my mind off what Lasso was doing. And why. I’d placed those other calls, giving away four more stash house locations and hoped it would force Genesis to make a mistake. He was already on the edge; that phone call earlier proved it. One more little nudge from me would be the thing that tipped him over.
I must have dozed off for a while because a knock on the door woke me and Lasso wouldn’t knock.
I grabbed the gun he’d left. I stood with my stomach facing away from the door as I peeked through a small opening. A curvy blonde stood on the other side. She looked harmless so I opened the door.
“Hi, I’m Jana, Max’s wife. I just wanted to check on you. May I come in?”
Max at least seemed sorry about not helping so I said, “Sure. Did you draw the short straw to come up here?” Lasso had been a tad overprotective lately, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d forced her up here.
“No, but I know what it’s like to be new around here and how intimidating it can be.”
Arm crossed defensively, I jutted my chin out. “I’m not intimidated. They don’t want me here and I don’t want to be either. I came to Lasso, not the club.”
She laughed, and the sound was soft and low. “All this comes with the territory, but it’s not so bad.” Jana did seem happy, but she was also in love and had planned and married her guy on purpose.
“Are you really all right? This has to be tough, Rocky. And you haven’t come down all week. Are you even eating?”
I sighed, trying to be nice because this woman was making an effort. “Lasso is force feeding me daily.”
“Good,” she grinned. “Max was the same, feeding me all the time, forcing water down my throat, taking bags of groceries from of my arms and forcing me to sit. It was annoying but nice.”
“Yeah well, I’m used to taking care of myself.”
“So am I,” she snorted and pointed to the scar on her face.
“It’s hardly even noticeable with how pushy you are.”
She laughed and seemed not offended in the slightest. “Thanks. Do you have a birthing plan yet?”
I shook my head and she rattled off about a dozen different things I needed to do before the baby arrived. The list was daunting, and my knitting hands stopped, taking in the gravity of my future. If there was a future.
“It seems like a lot but lucky for you, Teddy and I both have recently had babies.”
“Must be something in the water,” I grumbled, pulling another laugh from her.
“It’s those big sexy bikers and you know it.” She winked and leaned back, staring at me. “This will be easier if you make some friends, build a support sys
tem.”
“Like I said, I’m used to taking care of things myself.”
“I know, so was I. But when it comes to your kid you’ll do whatever you have to, including digging in roots. Becoming part of a community.”
That sounded nice, like all of the things I used to want for myself. Friends to do things with, like go to happy hour, share retail therapy binges, movie marathons and bitching sessions about relationships. I’d always wanted that but with every year that passed it became more apparent that I would not get it. Eventually, I stopped wishing. Then I stopped thinking about it altogether.
“I doubt I’ll be sticking around once this is all over.”
“That’s too bad. Max says you and Lasso seem like the real deal, even if you guys can’t see it yet.” The emphasis she put on ‘yet’ set me on edge but I had a feeling that was her intent.
“It’s not like that.” And even if things were like that with Lasso and me, there was no way his so-called brothers would ever accept me. “There’s too much baggage, even if it was a possibility. Which it isn’t.”
“Why isn’t it? Clearly there’s something between you, besides a baby, or Lasso wouldn’t look ready to castrate the world to keep you safe.”
That was bullshit. “You have a kid, so you already know the lengths a man will go to protect his child. The only difference is that you guys are in love so you see it differently.” I realized how bitchy that sounded and groaned. “Look, I’m not trying to be mean but there is no me and Lasso. If I hadn’t tracked him down, we would’ve never seen each other again.”
“But you did. And now you’re married and having a baby. I think you’re underestimating Lasso’s feelings.”