“No, Savior. I have no desire to die but I can’t live my life worrying about them. I can’t control what they do, only what I do.”
“And what do you plan to do, Mandy?”
“Figure it out. I’ve got time.”
Twenty-eight days to be exact, but that was no one’s business but my own.
Chapter 20
Savior
I headed back to the clubhouse to find a quiet corner to get my head straight. Mandy was hiding something from me, but I didn’t know what. Not yet, anyway. But I’d figure it out. It was normal for her to feel scared and paranoid after what had happened to her but this was more than that. She didn’t want to see me, but not in an angry vengeful way. It was more that she was pulling away from me, withdrawing.
“Earth to Savior. What’s going on with you, man?”
I looked up at Cross who wore a worried look that pissed me off. I wasn’t some head case he needed to be concerned about. “Shit’s going on with me but maybe if you braid my hair and ask again, I’ll tell you.”
“Asshole. I know this is about what happened to Mandy and I hope you’re not planning to do anything stupid.”
Even if I wanted to, it would be pointless. She wouldn’t listen to me anyway. “I’m not fuckin’ planning anything.”
He stared at me, waiting for me to crack. But he’d have to wait a long fucking time. “You don’t want to talk? Fine. Just listen. Something is clearly going on with you two but you’re here at the clubhouse drinking in the middle of the goddamn day instead of being over there with her. She’s fucked up man, broken, bruised and battered. And alone. Again.”
“Yeah well, she doesn’t want me or my help. Thinks I’m her babysitter.”
“Have you told her any different?”
“Nah, it’s better this way anyway.”
“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.” Cross began to laugh and then he laughed harder, clapping me on the back as tears damn near streamed down his face. “How fucking stupid are you, man? You like her.”
I shook my head and reached for the bottle, pouring another shot.
“No, you’re right. You don’t like her, you love her.”
I barked out a laugh. “I’m not capable of that particular emotion, brother.”
“Tell that shit to someone who doesn’t know you. You might be hard as hell on the outside but you know how to love and you love hard. Guys like us, that’s how we do it. That’s how we can take up arms and fight for this country, fight for the Reckless Bastards. Our love runs deep.”
I took another sip of my drink, savoring the amber liquid as I tried to shake off his assessment of me. Not buying it. “Then maybe you ought to get out there and get some of that deep love so you stop trying to play the fucking matchmaker.”
He snorted, “If it was that fucking easy, I would. But what you want is right in front of you. If you stop being such a pussy and go after it.”
“Yeah, thanks Prez. Always a pleasure talkin’ to you.”
He laughed. “Asshole.”
“That’s what they call me.”
His bootsteps clattered loud on the hard floor as he walked away, probably back to his office where he spent all of his time. Hiding from life. Avoiding everything to do with living but the club.
But he was right about one thing, Mandy was injured and alone. No matter how much she didn’t want me around, she needed me. And I needed to be there for her.
No, I wanted to.
When I pulled into Mandy’s parking lot there was one of those big ass yellow charity trucks parked in my spot. Well, in her visitor’s spot, but I was so used to parking there it felt like mine. I parked in Mandy’s spot and went in search of the guys in blue coveralls, shocked to find them inside Mandy’s apartment. “What the hell is going on in here?” A prickle of unease slid down my back, making my skin pucker in awareness. I should have realized something was up when I took her parking space. She had no job and she was still injured, where in the hell was she?
A guy with curly blond hair who couldn’t have been more than twenty-one looked at me with a frown. “We got a call from the tenant and instructions to clear out some stuff. Is anything in here yours?”