Deliciously Damaged (Reckless Bastards MC 3)

He made a frustrated noise and for a moment, I feared I’d pushed too hard. He was obviously raw over the situation with me and his sister. And me ragging on him almost every day was the last thing he needed. Still…I deserved answers. I’d been left emotionally wounded ever since I found him at her house. The fact that he had a good reason and wasn’t screwing around behind my back didn’t take away that pain and frustration.

“I lost my fiancée and then my father, and now—” His voice thinned. “Now, I’m losing Angela too. Can you understand why I wouldn’t want to talk about this? Most days, I can keep it pushed to the back of my mind, which sounds barbaric, but I have to do it. I have to be able to function. So, the less people know, the easier it is to put it aside so I can focus on keeping the company alive.”

His confession hit me hard in the chest. My fingers twitched against my knees. They were straining to reach out and comfort him. But what could I do? I was now the source of his discomfort. The reason all this pain had been forced back to the surface.

“I come and visit her as much as I can because I honestly don’t know how much time she has left. They won’t give me a straight answer. Her doctors switch her meds constantly. I have more money than all of them put together and it means nothing. I can’t save her,” he continued.

Each word sliced deeper and deeper into me. I placed my hand on his forearm and ran my thumb along his wrist where his jacket met his skin. “I’m so incredibly sorry, Cooper. I had no idea. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“There is, Allison. You’re doing it by finding out who is using the chemicals so I can bring them to justice. That is what you can do to help. Tell me you understand that.”

I nodded and kept my face neutral while inside me, a storm was raging as guilt joined the other horrible emotions that were building. Everything was so intense that I thought for sure I was about to burst. I’d spent an entire week working on a spreadsheet, trying to avoid hacking. Meanwhile, not only was the competition stealing our data right out from under us, but I was also wasting time to see about getting justice for Angela, all the while cursing her existence because I thought she was a threat to my relationship with Cooper.

Fuck. I’m an idiot.

I wanted to confess to Cooper that I’d been too busy spying on him and wasting my time on idle tasks, but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. All I could do was put that behind me and move forward.

“Okay, I’m all in. I’ll get you what you need.”

Our eyes locked on each other across the central console. My hand was still on his wrist, my thumb stilled against his pulse.

“Thank you,” Cooper said—his voice still brittle with emotion.

I wished I could take away his pain. I’d dealt with my own share of tragedy in life, but in comparison, it all seemed rather insignificant. I’d never had someone close to me die, and Cooper had had two and was now facing the very real possibility of a third.

My heart broke all over again at the realization.

I squeezed his wrist and held on a little bit tighter.

“Thank you for telling me everything. I realize now that it wasn’t easy. I’m sorry that I doubted you and said all those horrible things to you.” I dropped my eyes to my lap, no longer able to look him in the eye.

He was silent and when I looked back up, his face had changed. He seemed to be more like himself and less like the lost man I’d just seen. He started the engine and pulled onto the street, giving one last look over his shoulder at Angela’s house as we drove away.

“Cooper, this isn’t the way back,” I said, breaking the silence that had surrounded us as we drove back to the city. Cooper was on an unfamiliar road, but I could tell we were getting further away from the city center, not closer.

“I’m taking you home. I don’t want you riding this late at night. It’s not safe,” he said.

A shot of heat exploded in my core at the thought of him taking me home with him. I knew what would happen next, and after the intense emotional ride of the evening I would understand if he needed a release. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want him. Being in such close proximity to him over the past few hours had done nothing but send all my senses into overdrive. Anytime that I was this close to him, it was like being exposed to some sort of drug, and my resistance lowered and crazy, unwelcome ideas entered my mind on their own accord.

But no…not tonight.

I was too raw, too tied up in my own mind to let him have access to me. What I needed was time alone, to think and process everything that had happened.

“My bike is at work. I need it for tomorrow.”

He flew past another exit. “I’ll have a driver pick you up tomorrow morning and take you to work.”

“Cooper, no. I don’t want you to do that. I want to get Cherry Bomb tonight and go to work tomorrow on my own.”

He sighed. “Allison, I don’t care. We are almost to your apartment. I’m dropping you off. End of story.”

I pulled away my hand that had still been resting on him. I crossed my arms and looked out the window, well aware of the fact that I looked like a petulant child.

It was amazing how fast my irritation could rush back to the surface, bypassing all the other emotions that were fighting for head space.

Luckily for Cooper, I was too drained to fight anymore. I’d said my piece, he’d ignored it, and for now, that would be the end of it. Par for the course. I rolled my eyes and stared out the window, watching the cityscape whizz by in a blur of lights against the dark sky. It was late, nearly eleven o’clock, and I knew that as soon as I hit the pillow I would be out.

Cooper pulled into my apartment complex and parked. He insisted—much to my chagrin—on walking me up and we exchanged an awkward goodbye at my front door. Once inside, I stripped down to my tank top and panties and collapsed into bed. As I rolled into a ball around Sam’s fuzzy body, the last thing I thought about was the sweet way Cooper had stroked his sister’s hair as he’d sat by her bed.