He never finished his thought. I had no recollection of moving, but suddenly, Damien was shoved against the wall, my hand pressing on his throat and my gun pointed to his head.
“That is my wife,” I spat. “By disrespecting her, you are disrespecting me.” I cocked the gun. “No one disrespects me and remains standing in this group.”
His eyes were huge, no longer challenging, but pleading. I felt the slickness of his skin under my fingers and heard his labored breathing.
“Matteo,” he choked out. “Please.”
I pressed the gun harder, the metal sinking into his skin. “I protect my family. I don’t give a fucking shit if you don’t like it. You have a choice. Apologize and leave. Don’t apologize and leave in a body bag.”
“Matteo.” Marcus’s voice beseeched me at my elbow. “We need calm here. I’m certain Damien regrets his words.”
“I-I do,” he uttered, struggling for breath under my hold. “I was upset over the images—the heinous things I saw. I said things…” He trailed off. “I apologize.”
Guilt flooded me, and I dropped my hand.
What the hell was I doing?
I stepped back, pulling away my gun, shocked at my behavior.
I put my hand on Damien’s twitching shoulder. “I am the one who owes you an apology. I let my anger get the best of me.”
“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he replied. “I like Evie. We all like Evie. And I do respect you, Matteo. I was—” he swallowed “—I was upset, and I spoke out of turn.”
Suddenly exhausted, I sat down, noticing we were the only ones in the room. Marcus had obviously cleared my office when I lost it. I remembered how it felt when I started this job. Seeing the horrors, unprepared for how they would affect me. I’d lashed out more than once, but Aldo had the patience to guide me through. I had failed Damien.
“Sit down,” I said.
He hesitated, and I handed my gun to Marcus. “Sit,” I repeated, indicating the chair.
“Let’s talk.”
Geo appeared in front of my desk a few hours later. He regarded me kindly, but he looked worried.
“You heard, I assume?” I asked.
“Are you all right?”
I blew out a long breath. “I will be.” I ran my finger over the desk. “I was furious at Evie. Terrified when I found out she was out there alone. I took it out on Damien.”
“Are you still mad?”
“I’m ashamed by my behavior.”
“With Damien or Evie?”
“Both,” I admitted. “I talked to Lila a little. She helped me understand Evie’s side of things a bit more. I have to admit, I do not understand the draw of shopping, but she explained how easily Evie would have been carried away.”
He smiled. “I don’t understand it myself, but I know Lila can wander a mall for hours, come out with nothing, and still have had a wonderful time.” He shrugged. “She likens it to me watching soccer. She doesn’t get it, but she knows I can pass hours watching a ball get kicked around.”
I appreciated his attempt at lightening the situation.
“I apologized to Damien. He is struggling, and I think I was able to help him—the way I should have in the first place.”
“Instead of pulling your gun on him, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“And Evie?”
“I said some things I am not proud of to her as well. I refused to listen.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Typical behavior for a marital spat. You need to clear the air with her. You also need to forgive yourself, Matteo. You are only human after all.”
“I thought I was ready to forgive her this morning, then when I saw her, I got angry again.”
He stood. “Then work through your anger and talk to her. I am sure she is suffering as well.” He smiled kindly. “You are new to this—all of this, Matteo. She brings out a side of you that you have never experienced before. She is trying to find her place in this life. There will be growing pains for both of you. But you will come back together and be stronger.”
He left, his words repeating themselves in my head the rest of the day.
Evie
I didn’t see Matteo all day. Marcus came into the kitchen at lunch, and I handed him a plate of sandwiches.
“For anyone who wants them,” I explained. “I’m sure Matteo is too busy being furious to eat.” I paused. “I heard yelling. Angry yelling.”
“There was…a situation. It’s been handled.”
“Is everyone all right?”
He nodded tersely. “Yes.”
“Is he taking his bad mood out on the crew?” I guessed.
“He had a bad morning,” was his reply. “He, ah, reacted. It happens.”
“Really,” I said sarcastically. “I hadn’t realized.”
“He’ll calm down. Sometimes—sometimes, his anger gets the better of him, Evie.”
“Good for him,” I muttered.
I knew I had crossed a line, but Matteo refused to listen to me. One thing this incident had taught me was that I wasn’t ready to be on my own in the world again. Recalling how terrified I had been when I thought I was being followed, I knew that now. When Matteo forgave me, he could at least find comfort in that fact. If he forgave me.