Only One Regret (Only One 5)

I walk back, getting into the SUV, and look back to see the girls. "Are you ready for the next stop?" I pull out, and I make my way over to Julianne’s house or, better yet, the house we lived in as a family. When she served me with divorce papers, she asked that she stay in the family home. I didn’t want to uproot the girls, so I gave her that. I pull up in the driveway next to the white Range Rover I bought her right before she served me papers. Again, I let her have it for the girls.

"Mommy!” Mia screams, and I smile at them. I open the back door, getting Mia out, and Emma is already standing to jump out of the SUV. I hold her hand as we walk up the pathway I’ve walked a thousand times before. Stopping in front of the brown door, I ring the doorbell. I take a deep breath when I hear the locks turning and the door opening and see Julianne standing there with a huge smile on her face. She’s wearing shorts and a shirt, her blonde hair styled right down the middle and going down in perfect curls on both sides.

"There are my babies.” She holds out her arms for them. Emma jumps into her arms as Mia squirms to get out of my arms. She grabs Mia and then bends as the three of them share a hug. "I’ve missed you guys." I watch her, and I wait for it, waiting for me to remember what it was that pushed me to her. "You guys got so big," she notes and looks up at me with a huge smile on her face, her brown eyes blinking away the tears.

"Come in," she invites me in and moves away from the door.

"I’m going to go get the girls' stuff," I reply, pointing over my shoulder, and she just nods as she turns, and the girls run into the house. Walking back to the SUV, I grab the girls’ backpacks and then walk back into the house, feeling like a stranger in the same home we brought the girls home to. The same house we shared and that had family pictures hanging.

I walk down the hallway to the family room and see the family picture is still hanging, but there are lots more with just Julianne and the girls. "The girls went upstairs," Julianne informs me, coming down the stairs. "It’s like everything is new for them."

I don’t know what to say to her. "Here are the bags." I hold up my hand.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asks, and I shake my head.

"How was the vacation?" she asks, and all I can wonder is what was I thinking?

"It was good. Relaxing," I share. "The girls had a great time and spent most of it on the beach."

"I’m sure your parents were thrilled to spend time with them," she says, standing there awkwardly.

"It’s always fun when they are around. I’m going to go," I say, and I see something in her face. I’m not sure what that look is, but I also realize I don’t care.

"Girls!" she yells. "Come say goodbye to your dad." I hear the footsteps as they run to the steps and hold the railing as they walk downstairs. I get down in front of the step and hold out my hands. They each pick a side and hug me.

"Be good for Mom," I say, kissing first Mia and then Emma. "And I’ll see you in three days," I tell them, and I already miss them. "And I’ll call you guys tonight before bed." I get up and look over at Julianne, and I nod at her.

Walking out of the house, I close the door softly behind me and get into the SUV. Taking my phone out, I call Erika right away. "Hello," she answers on the second ring, and it sounds like she ran to the phone.

"Hi," I say, smiling, and there it is, the feeling I was looking for. The speeding up of my heart and the smile on my face regardless if I want to smile.

“Oh, so you got the whole phone thing settled.” She laughs, and all I can do is chuckle.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I make my way over to her house.

“I’m putting away my laundry,” she says. “Luckily, I don’t have anything to wash.”

“Do you want to have dinner with me?” I ask.

“Did you even go home?” she asks.

“Not yet. I just left the girls," I share as I turn on to her street, and she laughs. "I figured that before I went home, I would pick you up."

"I’ve been home for thirty minutes," she says as she chuckles. "I didn’t even pee yet."

"Well," I say to her, parking in her driveway. "Go pee and come outside when you're done."