And what about him?
How would he kiss me, if he would? Would it be soft and gentle with nothing but tenderness, like a fairy tale? Or would it be firm and raw and full of desire?
I so desperately wanted to find out, but…
I drew in a deep breath as the cold air hit my skin. It was both invigorating and startling, and I walked down the same steps I had earlier to reach the stone wall.
Deja bloody vu.
I leaned against it and closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing.
Why?
Why was his annoyance so beguiling and his friendship so fucking intoxicating to me? Why had I never been able to stay away from Miles bloody Kingsley?
Why was I so drawn to him?
And why the heck did I care so damn much?
Why, out of all the men I knew, was it him?
Why did it have to be bloody him?
“Are you all right?”
I drew in a sharp breath and steeled myself, looking over the garden. “When you said you smiled at me, but I’ve never seen you, what did you mean?”
“I—what?”
“After we were at the church. I told you that you’d never smiled at me, and you told me that you had. And just because I hadn’t seen it happen didn’t mean it didn’t.” I set my glass down as I turned and stared at him. “What did you mean by that?”
Miles’ nostrils flared. “I thought it seemed quite obvious, myself.”
“Not to me. So tell me. Explain it.” A shiver cascaded over me, and I wrapped my arms around myself. Should have brought a cardigan.
He looked away, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers. “It doesn’t matter, does it?”
“It does to me. And if you can’t be honest with me and tell me what you meant then whatever friendship we have is complete bollocks!”
“Why do you care?” he shot back, his eyes blazing into mine. “Why does it matter so much to you a week later?”
I swallowed but I said nothing.
“Yeah. Two can play at this game, princess.”
“I’m not a bloody princess!”
“Then stop acting like one!”
“Then stop treating me like one!” I snapped, pushing off the wall. I stormed towards the steps down to the lower level and somehow managed to navigate the uneven stones without falling. It was darker down here, but the path was illuminated by small lights that allowed me to see where I was going.
But I didn’t know where I was going.
I didn’t care.
Could I get back to the front from here? Was there a gate? Could I get in a car and go home, please?
“Gabriella—”
“Why are you here? Why did you come?” I spun around and faced him. “You knew this would be filled with the kinds of people you hate, and yet here you are.”
“What do you really want me to answer?”
I shivered again. “The smiling thing.”
“Are you cold?”
“Shut up and answer. I don’t need a knight in shining armour.”
He sighed.
“Don’t sigh at me!”
Miles’ gaze jerked up to mine. “I never smiled at you because I didn’t want to be friends with you. You could make friends with a rock if nobody else was around because you’re just that damn nice, and I couldn’t take that risk.”
“Why not? What’s so horrible about me that being my friend would be that terrible?”
“Nothing!” He stepped back, almost as if the firmness of his voice had shocked him, too. “Nothing.”
“There must have been something.”
“You’re freezing. Will you take my jacket, at least?”
“I will not. Not until you’re honest with me.” I hugged myself tighter. “Friends are honest with each other.”
“Are they?” He laughed humourlessly. “Then why have you been glaring at me all night? Why have we barely spoken since the garden centre? What did I do to upset you so badly that you would ignore me?”
Crap.
“I—” I looked away. I had no answer.
“Exactly. You want all kinds of answers from me, Lady Gabriella, but you’re unwilling to offer any of your own.” He waited for a moment before he turned and walked back in the direction of the patio.
Oh, no.
I wasn’t done.
We were not done here.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”
“Or what?” Miles retaliated. “This conversation is going nowhere. I knew friendship crossed a line with you. I never should have done that.”
“Why not?”
“Everything was fine until we became friends!”
“And what the flipping heck does that mean?”
His eyes blazed with something indiscernible in the darkness. “Because people like you and people like me don’t mix, Your Ladyship.”
There was a darkness to the final two words that hit me hard. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? That’s what you are, is it not?”
A lump rose in my throat as he turned away from me for a second time. I watched as he made it to the top of the stairs before I did the same, except for me, tears burned in my eyes as I stalked along the path.