So Good

Matthew was moving in?

“It’ll help take some stress off your dad so he can find a job and not worry so much about bills and watching over you.”

I wanted to tell him that I was nearly an adult, that I didn’t need looking after, but the truth was the very thought of Matthew here constantly was almost like a dream come true.

I glanced over at my father and saw he looked dejected. “Did you love her?” The only woman I’d ever seen my father with had been my mother. So this was all a little bit strange, definitely new.

His throat worked as he swallowed, and I could practically feel the tension in the air.

“I care about her,” he said and I heard the genuine tone in his voice. “And so I refused to stop seeing her—”

“Which had you losing your job,” I finished for him. He nodded. My throat felt so tight it hurt. “Are we going to lose the house? Will we have to move?”

“No,” my father said adamantly.

“We’re going to make sure you stay exactly where you are, that this house remains yours,” Matthew said.

I glanced over at him, feeling dazed, confused, and in a fog. How could I be upset at my dad for standing by his convictions, for being with someone he cared for when I was staring at the man I loved … the man I had no business being with?

3

Ivy

My mind was in a haze as I stared out at the backyard, the sun starting to set, the colors of orange, red, and pink splashing across the dusky sky.

My mind was a whirl at everything that had transpired this past week. Matthew moving his things in, taking the spare bedroom beside mine. My father on the phone constantly looking for temporary work until he could find something permanent. And all the while I wondered how things would really play out.

It made me feel a little braver, that perhaps I could tell Matthew how I felt. If my father cared about somebody so young, surely he would understand my feelings for Matthew?

I heard the backdoor open and glanced over my shoulder to see Matthew stepping out and onto the porch. It was as if my thoughts had conjured him and I felt my heartrate instantly pick up. I shifted on the plastic lounge chair, bringing my legs closer to my chest so now my feet were braced on the edge, my toes dangling slightly off.

“Hey,” he said in his deep, masculine voice. He moved closer to me and took a seat in the chair beside mine.

“Hi,” I said softly and continued to stare straight ahead.

For long moments we didn’t speak, and the silence was deafening. I could feel the tension in the air, the stress. But maybe that was just from me. Maybe how I felt was being projected.

And I hated that possibility.

I hated it had gotten to this point, where I didn’t know what was up from down.

“What’s on your mind?” Matthew asked, and I looked at him.

He was already watching me, the shadows playing around his big body, the tattoos visible underneath the thin white Henley he wore. His hair was a little bit disheveled, as if he’d been running his fingers through it.

I wondered how stressful this was for him. He seemed so calm and collected all the time, especially in the face of tension. But how did he really feel?

“I’m just thinking about how I don’t know what’s going on or what the future holds.” I was honest, wanting to ask him so many things, but also afraid to delve deeper. I didn’t want him to be standoffish with me, didn’t want that weird vibe bouncing between us. “I’m wondering what my father’s going to do about work. I’m wondering what he’s going to do about this new relationship he’s in.” I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and looked at the back yard once more, staring at the sun as it started to set behind the horizon. The silence was our companion for long moments, but I felt Matthew’s gaze on me. I looked back at him. “What are you thinking about?”

He lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck, the expression on his face telling me he was thinking about my question. “I’m thinking about you.” More silence. “I’m thinking about how this is all affecting you.” He cleared his throat.

I wanted him to look at me again, wanted to feel his gaze on me as if it were his finger stroking along my body.

“I’m thinking how I want to protect you from all of this, and how I wish you weren’t feeling this lost and helpless.” He looked at me again and when his eyes met mine it was like the spark of electricity traveled right through the center of my body. “But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll make sure everything works out. I promise, Ivy.” He reached out and took my hand and gave it a light squeeze.