“No, it wasn’t,” he confirmed. “But the Shadowlands…it’s dying.”
Pressure clamped my chest. “Is it because the deal hasn’t been fulfilled?”
A frown pulled at his lips. “No.”
Surprise flickered through me. Then was this not like the Rot? I didn’t get a chance to ask.
“Why were you in those woods, Sera?” Ash asked. “I warned you about them. The portion that leads to the city is safe to travel, but that is all. You should’ve never been in them alone.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I started and then sighed. “It wasn’t intentional.”
“You walked into the woods. How is that not intentional?”
I couldn’t tell him about the hawk. “It wasn’t like I purposely set out to do it.”
“You didn’t?” Ash challenged. “Because I have a feeling there is very little you do without purpose.”
Irritation sparked. “I have a feeling you know very little about me if you think that is accurate,” I said. “I’ll have you know there is a whole lot I do without purpose.”
“Well,” he drawled, lips twitching. “That’s reassuring.”
“Whatever. I wouldn’t have been out there if—” I stopped myself. “I was bored and tired of being stuck in this place.”
“Stuck? You have all of this.” He extended his hands. “You can go wherever you wish within the palace—”
“Except your office,” I blurted, and there was nothing to blame but the damn whiskey for that. His eyes sharpened to a steel gray as I quickly added, “I don’t know if you’ve spent a lot of time in the library, but it’s not the most exciting place to be.”
“And you think my office is?”
I snorted like a little piglet. “I’m sure it was recently,” I said, lifting the glass, only to realize I’d finished it off.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded as I started to lean toward the nightstand. He took the glass from me, setting it down.
I raised my brows. “Really? I’m sure your office has been very stimulating and charming.”
Ash sat back, a low laugh parting his lips. “Holy shit.”
“What?” I gripped the edge of the sheet where it pooled in my lap.
“You’re jealous.”
Heat climbed up my neck. “I’m sorry, but I did not hear you correctly.”
He laughed again, but the sound ended too quickly as he leaned forward. “You’re actually jealous. That is why you went into those damn woods.”
“What? That is not why I went.”
“Bullshit.”
My eyes widened as anger mixed with embarrassment, and unfortunately, whiskey. “You know what? Okay. Yes. I was jealous. You have been too busy to even speak to me for longer than five seconds over the last couple of days, leaving me alone, like always. To walk the courtyard by myself. Eat dinner by myself. Go to bed by myself. Wake up by myself. I’m really starting to wonder what I did in this life to deserve always being alone.”
His eyes widened in surprise. Nothing that was coming out of my mouth needed to be shared. This wasn’t an act. A ploy. It was the truth, and I couldn’t stop myself. “The only time I see anyone is when one of your guards tries to inconspicuously follow me or someone brings me food.”
Ash’s jaw had loosened at some point, and I wasn’t sure what it was in response to, nor was I even sure exactly what I was saying anymore. I was like a volcano erupting. “So, yes. I’m stuck here, yet again, alone while my husband-to-be is busy doing whatever with a Primal, who acted awfully familiar with you. So, sure, I was jealous. Does that make you happy? Amused? Either way, all of that is so beside the point, it’s not even funny.”
He stared at me. “Why would you think you deserved to be alone?”
Out of everything I said, that was what he focused on? “I don’t know. You tell me. I have no idea. Maybe there’s just something wrong with me. Maybe my personality is a huge turn-off,” I said, starting to push away from the pillows. “I mean, I am troublesome and mouthy—”
“Whoa.” Ash shifted, placing his hand on the other side of my leg. His upper body blocked me from moving unless I wanted to attempt to knock him aside. “Can you stay seated?”
“I don’t want to stay seated. I hate being still. I need to move. I’m used to moving around, to doing something other than absolutely nothing,” I snapped. “And I don’t even want to be talking about this. I’m sure you don’t either since you’re so busy—”
“I’m not busy now.”
“I don’t care.”
His eyes flared. “Then maybe you’d care to know that I don’t enjoy even a single moment in Veses’ presence.”
“Really?” I coughed out a dry laugh that caused my back to ache. “She is beautiful.”
“So? What does that matter when she’s as poisonous as a pit viper? Not only do I not trust her, I do not like her. She is…” A muscle flexed in his jaw once more. “She is of the worst sort.”