I’m a private guy. I’ve built lots of walls around me over the years. But in one night I feel them all cracking and ready to fall. I don’t remember the last time I was scared of anything. Fear in my world isn’t your friend. But right now, I’m scared to death I’ll never see her again.
There’s no way I’ll let that happen. This is bigger than both of us; my gut doesn’t lie.
I realize as I pace in the hotel room, I’ve come to understand this growing obsession I have could be dangerous to anyone that may try to come between us, or anyone that would hurt her.
And that hurt includes anyone or anything she cares about.
I can’t even stand in one place, let alone sit. I’m so wired that when the text notification goes off on my cell phone, I nearly come out of my skin. I pull my phone up, looking down at the last text I sent her and her reply.
Me: I have no doubt you will both be okay. But, forgive me, I want you both to be more than just okay. I’m not exactly sure what I can do to change that ‘ok’ to ‘amazing,’ but I’m going to figure it out, baby. Are you both at your house?
Issi: Yes, we are here. I don’t think there is anything you can do. I appreciate your kindness, but I’ve been through this before with her. We will get through it again. LOL Nothing a few gallons of ice cream and a nice slab of ribs won’t fix. ?
Me: I’m going to take care of your Jeep. That’s a statement, not a question.
Issi: It’s not necessary. This isn’t your fault.
Me: Both are true, doesn’t change anything. Anther thing, I’m going to be checking in with you, I expect you to answer. If you decide to leave the house, go out, let me know.
It’s bold and demanding, I know, but right now I have no filter, only this driving need to be in her life, to be sure she’s safe and attached to me somehow. My heart pounds in my chest as I wait for her reply, sure she’s about to tell me to go fuck myself.
A minute goes by.
Then two.
It might as well be hours. I’m dying here. I can’t hold off, so I shoot her another message.
Me: Issi, it’s time someone was looking out for you.
I count the seconds and practically jump out of my skin when she replies.
Issi: You’re a bit overbearing.
Me: A bit? I can make that completely overbearing if you’d like. But I’d rather you think of it as protective.
Issi: LOL No, a bit is tolerable.
Me: Good. Please hug your mom from me. Tell her it’s from me or not, whatever you think is best. I don’t want to cause her any more pain.
Issi: Will do.
Me: I’ll check back in a bit. If you need anything, text or call, I’ll keep my phone with me.
Issi: Thank you.
I sit down at my laptop and start making some necessary arrangements for her Jeep as well as a few other things. A quick call to Kara puts my mind at rest about George being good and not tearing up the house. I miss that little shithead.
And it gives me a chance to vent about dad, with Kara only too happy to commiserate.
After I come off the phone, I email Jack to see how the problems on the site are coming along. I should call him too, but if I do, I know I’ll seem more available, and even though the wedding is off, I have priorities here.
An hour later, I’ve got things in motion as well as taken a phone call from Gloria setting up her latest injection of cash and have a handle on things. From our time together last night, I know Issi doesn’t cook, and neither does her mother, not that she is probably in any shape to whip up anything right now, even if she could.
Sitting in my hotel room, I don’t know what to do with myself. All I want to do is be with her which has never happened to me before. I’ve never missed anyone.
Take that back, George. I’ve missed George. But never a person. Not like this.
I do a quick search for something on the internet and make a call.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m out the door, in my rental truck and I can’t stop smiling.
I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Ten
Van
“I’M SORRY.” ISSI GIVES me a sympathetic smile. “She’s just in a weird place.”
I’m standing in her kitchen, where I’ve just delivered a full banquet of comfort food and ice cream: barbequed ribs, coleslaw, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and fresh baked cornbread.
I found a specialty, gourmet southern food restaurant near the hotel and ordered enough carryout for twelve, then stopped by a market and filled half a shopping cart with ten flavors of ice cream.