They weren’t funny. In fact, I found them so fucking evil at that point I wanted to turn my back on them.
Only, I couldn’t.
I hadn’t taken the initiation under duress like Sian. There was no way out for me.
What would I do if she chose to leave us?
I had no answers for any of these.
She tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “You know I’m thinking I need to get this straightened. Knowing Chloe cut it, I don’t know, it makes me want to change it up.”
“I can take you somewhere or we can have someone come here.”
“Either works for me.” She had her hands together and rubbed them, almost nervously.
“Sian, what’s wrong?”
“I … I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. I will understand if you don’t want my company.”
I pulled back the blanket to show her there was plenty of room. I wasn’t turning down an option of having Sian in my bed, close to me. Not happening.
“Are you sure?”
“Sian, get your ass in. I’m not going to tell you again,” I said.
This made her laugh. “You’re so bossy.”
“Well, I like to get what I want.”
She climbed into bed, and it was big enough for there to be a space between us, which I didn’t like. All I wanted to do was reach out to her, to draw her closer. I kept my hands to myself, instead, keeping my needs locked up tight.
“How are you?” I asked.
Today had been a huge deal. For ten months, we’d found nothing. Walking around blind, waiting for something to happen. Now we had proof of Fred’s beating, Heather’s death, and a phone call from her mother confirming Drew’s death hadn’t been an accident or due to natural causes. It was a lot to take in.
“Numb right now. I guess I’m going to feel something very soon. How could I not? Those closest to me have been hurt.”
I couldn’t resist reaching out to touch her. Cupping her face, I stared into her eyes, hoping she saw the truth of my words. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I couldn’t. There was no way this world would be a better place without her.
Sian covered my hand with hers and turned her head to kiss my palm. “I know you will try. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. We don’t know what the future is going to hold.”
“You’re going to leave soon?” I asked.
She’d mentioned going to college. About living the life Heather wanted as well as her own, but so far, that hadn’t happened. I’d follow her anywhere if I could.
“No, not yet,” she said.
“You’re not?”
“Heather did this for a reason. It could be to do with The Society or her feelings for me, but I’m going to see that through before I go to college. I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder to see when he’s going to strike again.” She shrugged. “He’ll come back. You know that,” I said.
“Your dad?”
She nodded.
“Yeah, I know he’s going to come back. We’ll all be ready for him when he does.” I wasn’t going to let her get hurt by him.
“What if he kills my mom?” I asked.
“We’ll deal with it.” The fallout with our dads could be catastrophic, but I didn’t tell her that. There were some things that didn’t need to be dwelled upon.
Sian reached out, putting a hand against my cheek. “Do you want me to go?”
I looked at her. Was this a trick question?
“I don’t know what to say to that,” I said.
“Don’t talk like The Society is giving you orders. Tell me what you want. Not what anyone else wants. Do you want me to go?”
This was hard.
Fuck.
I wanted to be so selfish here. Saying what I wanted her to do what made her happy seemed so fucking cliché. “You want me to be real?”
“Yes.”
“No, I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave. I’d like you to stay. With you, Sian, I want to be selfish. I’m used to getting what I want, and having you leave, not being part of us, I don’t want that. I’m not sure how this is going to work, but I know that with Dante, William, and Mateo, you will always be taken care of, and with me. We will do everything in our power to make you happy. To make you want for nothing—”
I was silenced by a passionate kiss as Sian slid across the bed and planted those plump lips of hers on mine. I moved my hand to her back, feeling she wasn’t wearing any underwear as I ran my hand up toward her head, and across her shoulders, to sink into her hair, pulling her close.
With her body flush against mine, I nipped at her lips. Sian moaned, and as she did, her mouth parted. I took full advantage, plunging my tongue into her mouth, tasting her.