To Capture a Thorn (The Society 2)

Of course, I didn’t voice any of these points in front of Sian. She didn’t need to think about that right now.

Even though her thoughts about her mother weren’t deep, I knew there was a chance Joan loved her daughter. No, I knew she loved her daughter. There was no doubt about it.

“What would I say if that day ever occurred?”

“Anything you wanted.”

“I don’t know what I’d say.” She shook her head. “No. I’m not going to think about it. It might never happen, and I’m not going to stress about it for nothing.”

Silence fell between us once again, only this time, Sian seemed uncomfortable.

Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I wondered what to say to her. “Do you blame her?” I asked.

I felt Sian’s gaze on me. “Don’t be … no, of course not.”

She lied.

“It’s fine to blame her if you want to,” I said.

“Blaming her doesn’t resolve anything. It doesn’t bring her back. It’s pointless.” She folded her arms and turned to stare out the window.

This wasn’t supposed to be a trip about pain or anger. I couldn’t let her fester on this.

“Blame doesn’t have to make sense,” I said. “You can blame whoever the hell you want, even if it is your mom.”

“But … she can’t help. She can’t do anything because of him.”

“And you still can blame her for it. If she had fought a little harder maybe? If she hadn’t left my dad. If The Society hadn’t intervened.”

I chanced a glance at her and saw tears were falling down her cheeks.

“I don’t mean to make you cry.”

Silence.

A sniffle.

Gripping the steering wheel even tighter, I saw a parking sign up ahead and I signaled to let other drivers know I was leaving the road, slowing down, doing it all sensibly as I navigated.

I didn’t want her to cry, not if I wasn’t in a position to hold her.

After bringing the car to a stop, I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car. I rounded the vehicle, opened the door, and crouched down, and Sian threw herself into my arms.

Wrapping mine around her, I felt the press of her face against my neck, and I didn’t let her go.

“I do blame her,” Sian said. “I hate her and I love her and I miss her so much. It’s so unfair. I know she’s not living a good life. I know she’s probably in pain and hurting and I hate her for it.” She sobbed against my chest, almost howling.

Sian wanted to focus on one person and I got that. Her mother was the main target and there was nothing she could do about that. Not at this time. She was the one catalyst she could focus on.

Pain made no sense. The real person she needed to inflict all her anger on was her father. Alexander Roberts. He would get what was coming to him.

“I’ve got you, Sian,” I said.

“How? How can you even want to be near a person like me? My mother is the victim here. I know that.”

I cupped Sian’s face. “I’m always going to be here for you. You’re in pain.”

“I want to protect her,” Sian said. “Drew told me all the time my mom was a good person, but I never believed it. This is so not fair. I can’t stand it.”

I stroked her back as she let it all out, and I just let her. There was no point in trying to fight it. We sat on the side of the road, cars zooming past, some slowing down, and an ache began to build in the backs of my ankles.

Holding her close, I refused to let her go.

She lifted her head, sniffling. “I’m fine now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m … I don’t know what that was all about, but I’m good.”

I had no problem holding her.

Sian pulled away, sitting back in the car. After closing the door, I rounded the car and got back behind the wheel. I clicked on the indicator, saw my spot, and joined the main traffic once again.

This time, when silence filled the car, I did nothing to stop it. Just let it build naturally as I drove toward my destination.

I hadn’t been back to my place in over ten months. I missed the comfort of the quiet. The peace being surrounded by my artwork gave me.

With Sian at my side, a sense of peace descended, and I felt no matter what was about to happen, it would all be okay. It had to be. I didn’t see how it could not.

“Thank you,” Sian said sometime later.

We were close to my place and I’d already made a stop for some snacks to tide us over. Of course, I made sure some of them were vegan. I’d never read the back of packaging so much before in my life. I was constantly learning new things with her.