We didn’t.
We accidentally got her pregnant. And don’t get me started on the Jeep…I’ll carry that loss forever. I’ve only ever wanted to protect the Meadows family, and one of the most beloved pieces of them is gone. And I wish I could turn back time. To tell myself to do something else. Something better.
I could’ve done better.
“Is any of it good news?” Ryke asks his daughter.
“Yeah, I think so.” She bites her lip, then puts a hand to her chest. “I think it’s good news at least.”
“It’s good news,” Banks reaffirms.
“Really good news,” I chime in.
Daisy swivels more, unbuckling. “Good news first. The sun before the clouds is totally better.”
Sulli tucks her legs to her chest. “I’d rather be a sunrise slut than Sulli the Slut anyway.”
“You’re not a slut at all,” Ryke defends roughly. “Fuck them.”
Sulli tries to smile.
Ryke searches her uneasy expression. “I agree with your mom. Fuck the bad. Let’s hear the good.”
Sulli squeezes our hands. “I don’t know what you’re going to think of me, Dad. Honestly, I don’t know if you’ll be mad or happy—but just don’t take this out on Banks or Akara. I’m just as much a part of this. It takes two to tango—or in this case, three.”
Ryke freezes. “Sulli, just fucking tell me—”
“I’m pregnant,” she interjects.
Daisy’s hands fly to her mouth, overwhelmed tears building. “Really?” It’s a hopeful really, and not the reaction I expected at all.
Sulli almost starts crying. “Fucking really.”
Immediately, Daisy crawls over her seat into the middle one.
“Whoa, Mom,” Winona whines as she sits up quickly and pops out an earbud. Her annoyance dissolves into confusion when she sees her mom crying. “What’s going on?”
“Your sister is pregnant,” Daisy says. And then swiftly wraps her arms around Sulli’s shoulder into a loving hug. Sulli leans forward to return the hug. Her tears spill on her mom’s shoulder.
I hear Daisy whisper to Sulli, “I’m so very glad it was easy for you, my peanut butter cupcake.”
I see now.
Why Daisy is so happy for her.
I start smiling.
All the struggle Daisy had to face just to have Sulli—it’s not something Sulli will have to worry about. Easy. I wonder if that’s the goal all parents seek and wish for their children. An easy, uncomplicated journey through the world.
No, Nine.
My dad…I can’t push him out of my head. I just can’t. I never really could. And I remember that for the seventeen years I had him on this earth, he never said anything like that to me. He never wished easy for my life.
He wished for success—whatever that word meant to me. And he wished for happiness. And my life—how I turned out—is the messiest of messes.
And I’ve loved every messy moment, every complex second of this journey with him and her—and if I went towards easy, where the heck would I even be?
Alone.
Miserable.
I would’ve never known how much love and how much life I’d be missing. Sometimes, the messiest roads are the best ones taken, and I know when our kid is here, I’ll be telling them that.
Winona is crying. “You’re pregnant? Sulli. You’re having a baby.”
“Yeah, squirt.” Sulli messes her hair. “I’m having a baby. And you’re going to be the coolest aunt around.” They laugh and hug, tears slipping down their cheeks.
Banks is choked up, and my eyes are burning from emotion, watching Daisy and her daughters hug and cry over the pregnancy news.
Ryke’s gaze is bloodshot. Price is keeping a focused gaze on the road. I’m not able to see his reaction, and I’m digging harder to understand Ryke’s.
I swallow the ball in my throat and nod to her dad. “Ryke,” I call out to him.
He opens his mouth but only a choked noise comes out. He glares at the van’s roof and smears a hand over his tear-filled eyes.
Daisy breaks from her hug with Sulli and gives her husband a soft smile. “It’s great news,” she tells him.
He nods repeatedly. “It really fucking is, Dais.”
That slams me back.
Banks begins to smile.
Ryke Meadows watched Daisy’s pain. Stood by her through the trauma, the sadness. I doubt he ever wished that on his daughter either.
He takes a controlled breath and focuses on Sulli. “I love you, Sul. With my whole fucking heart.” He pauses to gather his breath, to say the next words—but his voice comes out shaky and tearful, “I’m going to love your baby just as much.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Sulli is close to another sob. She rubs at her face.
Ryke rubs at his, then he nods to me and Banks. “Which one of you is the father?”
Expected that. The question doesn’t provoke bitterness or anger. I’ll answer that truthfully with pride every time. Both of us are the fathers.
But Banks beats me and says, “It wasn’t planned, Ryke.”
He lifts his hardened brows. “I fucking figured that after the last time.” He spares us another lecture like he gave last time. “So you don’t know who the dad is?”