Dr. Stud

“Oh, honey, you are the uptightest.”

“All right, I’m leaving,” I announce as I head for the door.

Didi falls in right behind me, despite her attitude. Just before we left New York, she got a walking boot that lets her get around pretty well. It is supposed to come off in two weeks.

As I lock the front door, I see her tip her head back out of the corner of my eye. I turn around and notice her stuffing an empty bottle into her purse.

“Hey, can we drop by the pharmacy before the gallery?” she asks as we walk down the front steps.

“Shouldn’t you be done with those by now? I mean, you won’t even have a cast for much longer. Does it still hurt?”

“Not as long as I take my prescription,” she answers pointedly.

“I was just thinking… you seem to be all healed.”

She squints at me sarcastically. “So, did Dr. Stud also inseminate you with an MD?”

“All right, never mind…”

“Because if he did, I want some too! You know, I never went for a lady treatment. My mom swears by Boss Warner, but I wouldn’t mind trying out the new kid…”

“Didi, quit it. I hear you, okay?”

“No, seriously,” she continues, ignoring me, “your new medical license must be so handy, what with you knocked up and all. Are you gonna deliver the baby yourself too? Do you have magical powers in your fingers to make them work like an ultrasound or something?”

Pressing my lips together, I focus on the end of the street.

“Actually, not joking about that part,” she shrugs. “You really should see a doctor, you know? I mean… assuming you are keeping the baby?”

Just one more house to go, and we will be at the end of the block.

“Joe? I’m seriously asking you here. Are you keeping the baby?”

We turn onto Main Street and I sort of hope she will let the subject drop, but she just keeps staring at me.

“Yes,” I finally answer. “I’m keeping the baby. I know I have options, but that’s not for me.”

Didi claps her fingers together excitedly. “Yes! A doctor in the family… Who would have thunk it! Your mom is going to be so excited.”

“He’s not really in the family, Didi,” I sigh. “That wasn’t really the deal.”

“But you’re going to tell him, aren’t you? I mean, he deserves to know.”

“Sure,” I answer carefully. “In about eight months. I’ll send him a picture.”

We reach the gallery and I twist the key, pushing open the door. A cool blast of air-conditioned air rolls out onto the sidewalk, carrying with it the delicious smell of linseed oil and walnuts. Our gallery. Just me and Didi, somehow we got this little place all to ourselves.

As soon as we are inside, Didi drops into a chair by the framing table and sighs dramatically, elevating her boot.

“I don’t think you should wait to tell him,” she informs me. “Wouldn’t you want to know? What if he is secretly in love with you when you are depriving him of the joys of watching you throw up every morning?”

“Very funny,” I sneer as I flip on all the lights. I unlock the back door in case UPS wants to come that way.

“Well… I’m actually kind of serious. Are you sure he doesn’t want to know? Like, actually sure?”

Sighing, I balance my hands on my hips and glare at her. She’s not going to let the subject drop.

“He’s not even here, Didi. I’m not going to drag him back to Willowdale just to drop this bombshell on him, especially since he and I already talked about the parameters of our relationship and this just isn’t it.”